Day 13: Learn to be Discerning

Dear Little Princess,

There is no end to the amount of advice - good and bad - available today.  And the frustrating part is that you’ll find completely opposite suggestions for just about everything you might want advice about.  The only way to wade through this opinion soup is to learn to be discerning.

Zig Ziglar once said something along these lines:  “Good judgment comes from experience, which comes from bad judgment.”  There is a great deal of truth in that statement!  It takes time to develop discernment, and it won’t be easy to obtain, but it is a worthwhile pursuit.

The first thing you need to do when developing the ability to be discerning is to start with God’s Word.  The Bible is the Final Authority.  Sometimes, His commandments will not at first appear to be the wisest advice, but this is only because we cannot foresee the future and He can.  If He has commanded you either to do or not do something, you can rest assured that obeying Him is the best thing you can do.

However, there are a few areas where God’s Word seems either to be unclear or silent all together (although these issues are really few and far between).  What then?  In those cases, prayer is your next step.  As Christians, we have the amazing leading of the Holy Spirit.  I cannot stress enough the importance of the Holy Spirit’s guidance in life.

Are you seeing a trend in these letters, Little Princess?  Start with God’s Word.  Pray.  Follow the Spirit’s leading.  Seek out Godly counsel.  These steps apply to all of life, no matter the issue.  It’s no different for learning to be discerning.

There will be times when you make mistakes in life, when you will be led astray by wayward thinking, when you make a poor judgment call.  I’ve done this more times than I’d ever like to admit to.  This, frustratingly, is part of being human.  Thankfully, the Lord can teach you just as much during times of bad decision-making as when you choose wisely.  Learn from your mistakes, and ask for forgiveness as needed.  I’m still learning how to do these things well.  I’m not quick to repent, and I get easily frustrated at myself for poor choices.  But never forget that the Lord is ready and willing to forgive and to help you learn from your mistakes.

Even though you’ll fail at times, pursue discernment.  You will never regret the time spent on such an endeavor.

All my love,

Mommy

Day 12: Learn to be A Good Steward

Dear Little Princess,

The Bible has a lot to say about stewardship, or the care-taking of someone else’s things.  Here on Earth, everything belongs to God (Ps. 24:1), but He has graciously lent us all things for our good and enjoyment.  Did you know that He has lent you and your brothers to Daddy and me?  As much as I want to think of you as my own, you are all His, but Daddy and I get to take care of you.  He has asked me to be your steward.

Stewardship is usually a term used when people are talking about money.  I want you to know that money is just a resource.  It can help in many ways, but unless we have the proper attitude toward it – that we are merely managers of it and not owners – it will never bring us happiness.  I hope and pray that you learn to be wise with your finances so that the money the Lord lends you will serve you well.

In addition to being a steward of money, Little Princess, we’re also called to be stewards of the entire Earth.  If we can remember that everything we “own” in life is really just on loan from the Lord, it can help us to be better managers of what God has entrusted us with.  You’ll hear over and over phrases like, “save the whales!” or, “save the Earth!”  But we are not saviors.  Only Jesus saves.  We are, however, stewards, and as such, we are called to care for and protect the Earth, the animals, and our environment.

The Lord has placed us as caretakers over His creation.  In addition to creating us in His image, this is yet another way He differentiates us from the animals.  Being a good steward of what is His is a difficult task, but just as with everything else in life, He will help us to do well the job He has called us to do.

All my love,

Mommy

Day 11: Don't Neglect Your Appearance

Dear Little Princess,

Yesterday, I shared that the Lord looks at our heart and not our outward appearance, but I also said that we shouldn’t ignore our appearance, either.  Why?  Well, there are several reasons, but the most important is that that God is the Creator of order and beauty.  We are a part of His creation, and as such, we should strive to look our best for Him.

When I say we should look our best, I mean that we should wear sensible, well-fitting, coordinated clothing.  Our hair should look brushed and cared for.  I don’t mean that we should be dressed in a ballgown every minute of the day, nor do I mean that we should spend exorbitant amounts of time in preparing to leave the house.

I personally will choose comfort over style any day, and it shows.  I’m often uncoordinated in my wardrobe choices, and I’m certain that I don’t always represent the Lord to my fullest potential when it comes to dressing nicely for His sake.  Honestly, I probably need to ask for some fashion advice from a few close friends who are gifted in this area, not so that I can become completely engrossed in my appearance, but so that, if at all possible, my looks won’t detract from the Gospel.

While we’re on the topic of outward appearance, though, there is a tender subject I want to bring up.  Some women, like me, don’t always dress the best because of lack of interest or lack of talent, but for others, they have a lack of finances.  They may have no room in the budget for even the most inexpensive of new tops or shoes.  I’ve been there.  If you find yourself there, too, do what you can with what you have.  I personally think I’m allergic to ironing, but truthfully, a freshly-pressed shirt, even a faded one, can look much more presentable than if that same shirt were yanked out from the bottom of the unfolded basket of laundry.  (Not that I’ve ever done that.  Ahem.)

You have already demonstrated an interest in fashion and in looking your best, Little Princess, and I’m glad for that.  I hope that you will develop a better sense of style than I have.  But I also want you to be cautious that you don’t get caught up in the frivolity of dressing well.  At the risk of sounding like a broken record, it’s your heart attitude that matters most.

There is a fine balance between dressing sensibly and presentably while keeping in mind that outer appearances should not be the focus of our hearts.  We won’t be able to perfectly keep that balance in check here on Earth, but through prayer and studying God’s Word, He will help us to be mindful of the things that have eternal value.

All my love,

Mommy

Day 10: Focus On Inner Beauty

Dear Little Princess,

From the time you could talk, you’ve been asking Daddy if you look beautiful.  You usually ask this question after putting on a pretty dress-up gown or brushing your hair.  Daddy, ever the good sport, tells you, “yes, Sweetie, you look great!”  And it’s true:  you are beautiful.

However, I want you to know that true beauty doesn’t come from clothing, makeup, hair-dos, or accessories.  It doesn’t even come from your God-given appearance.  True beauty, like modesty, is a heart condition.  If you spend all of your time adorning your outer look but never seek to develop a beautiful spirit, you will have missed the point of the Biblical definition of beauty.

While this doesn’t mean that we should ignore our exterior appearance (more on that tomorrow), it simply means that our outward looks should not be our foremost thought or be all-consuming.  As you brush your hair, think about what inner qualities the Lord desires.  As you choose your outfit, consider what areas in your heart need improvement.

Are you quick to get angry?  Do you have a sharp tongue?  Do you judge those around you?  Do you think on things that are not lovely or pure (Phil. 4:8)?  Ask the Lord to help you in whatever area(s) you are struggling.  Diligently work on them.  Pray about them.  Memorize verses that address each issue.  Read biblically-based books that offer ideas on how to overcome them.  Ask those around you to pray and to hold you accountable.  Choose Biblical attitudes that you want to replace your sinful ones with.  Work as hard at dressing your inner beauty as you do your outer.

I’ve known many women with flawless exteriors, who wear the latest fashions, and who have no depth of character.  It’s very sad to see.  I’ve also known women who are very spiritually mature but who are very homely in appearance, and sadly, not many people pay them any attention because of the false notion that their outer look indicates what their inner character is like.  (There is a difference between homeliness for lack of care and homeliness for lack of income.  I’ll share more about this tomorrow as well.)

We should focus first on our inner character and then move on to our outer style.  Man looks at the outside, but the Lord looks at the heart (1 Sam. 16:7).  Both are important here on Earth, but never forget, Little Princess, that since the Lord cares about the condition of our heart and not of our clothing, our hearts are of much greater value.

All my love,

Mommy

Day 9: Learn to be A Good Sister

Dear Little Princess,

I’m so glad that you have three wonderful brothers.  Having siblings is such an amazing gift!  I’m sure that there are times when having brothers to share with doesn’t always seem like a blessing, but my prayer for all of you is that you eventually understand that having brothers and a sister is a gift to be appreciated.  And there is a lot that you can do to show your brothers that you are a blessing to them.

Being a good sister can be hard.  Although I think that too much emphasis is placed on the differences between boys and girls (boys and girls are still both human, not completely different creatures), it’s good to remember that God created differences between you and your brothers.  They like things that you don’t care for.  You enjoy activities that they don’t prefer.  It’s perfectly okay.

Sometimes, the boys will want to do something that completely annoys you.  You can choose either to show your annoyance or to be gracious.  Remembering that you love activities that annoy them might help you to focus on being forgiving even when it’s easier to get frustrated.

If you need your brothers’ help, you can choose either to ask them politely or demand that they serve you.  Asking politely may not always motivate them to do the right thing and help you, but at least you will know that you handled the situation in a Godly way.

Your brothers can also be your friends.  Show interest in their hobbies.  Offer kind, encouraging words.  Help them in areas where they are struggling.  Listen to what they have to say.  I encourage them to do the same for you.  Everything I shared earlier about being a good friend also applies to siblings.  As we work together to treat one another well, that sibling friendship will grow.

Above all, help point your brothers toward Christ.  Did you know that you can be a witness for God to your brothers as well to as your friends?  Even though you are not the oldest, you can still set a Godly example for each of them.  I think we sometimes forget that our siblings are observing our actions every bit as much – if not more – than the rest of the world is.  What kind of example are you presenting for them?

Pray for your brothers just as you would pray for anyone else.  Ask if they have requests that you could pray for.  If you know of something that they have coming up, like a test or a doctor’s visit, let them know that you’re praying about it.  People feel very encouraged to know that someone else is remembering them in prayer.  It’s sweet to hear that a sister is praying for her brothers.

Sadly, sometimes there is nothing you can do to help a sibling return your friendship.  I’ve seen siblings become estranged from their families for many different reasons, and it is always heartbreaking.  In situations like these, you can still pray for that sibling.  You never know how the Lord may work in his heart later on.

If you are ever unsure of how to respond to one of your brothers, don’t hesitate to ask me or Daddy.  We each have a sister and several brothers, so chances are good that we’ve encountered whatever the situation is that you’re confused about!  Whether one of the boys is picking on you or whether one of them needs encouragement, we’re here to help you be a good sister to your brothers.

All my love,

Mommy

Day 8: Don't Forget to Rest

Dear Little Princess,

I shared in yesterday’s letter about the struggle with Baby D’s illness and being away from Daddy at night.  I encouraged you to do hard things.  Today, I want you to know that it’s also okay – necessary, even – to rest.  Doing hard things requires endurance.  Endurance requires rest.

Today’s letter will be more like a short note, because I need to follow my own advice and rest.  This week has been incredibly stressful for me, and even though Daddy, you, and your brothers are doing a fantastic job helping out as much as possible, rest is what I need.

God knew that we needed rest, so much so that He set the example by resting on the Sabbath and then commanded us to do the same.  Someday soon I hope to write more about Savoring the Sabbath, but for now, remember:  Rest is a precious thing that we forget about all too easily.  Plan for rest.  Schedule it in your calendar.  Prepare to enjoy some downtime.  It will be one of the best things you can do for yourself, for your family, and for everyone else around you.  I promise!

All my love,

Mommy

Day 7: Do Hard Things

Dear Little Princess,

Tonight, Baby D started running a fever just as you and the boys and I were getting ready to spend the night at Grammie’s.  Grammie had asked us if we could house-sit for them, but Daddy has to stay home because our house is a lot closer to his work than Grammie’s house is.  Caring for sick spark plugs is one of my least favorite Mommy jobs, and caring for sick spark plugs on my own without Daddy’s help is even harder.

Just before we left, Daddy offered to keep Baby D with him and to take a sick day tomorrow.  I was so, so tempted to take him up on his offer.  I know I would have slept better and would have worried less.  But Daddy just took off two family days last week, and as much as I would have loved him to stay home with D, I knew that Daddy’s boss would appreciate having him in the office instead of at home.

So, I did a really hard thing:  I took all the spark plugs up to Grammie’s as planned.

For another mommy, this probably wouldn’t have been a big deal at all.  But this is one of my struggle areas, so for me, it was a really hard thing to do.  And I did it anyway.  I know that the Lord will help me.  I know that this illness, whatever it is, will not last long in the big scheme of things.  It’s probably just a virus.  Even so, it fills me with dread.  I’ve always been afraid of sickness, and I probably will always have that fear.  I don’t have to give into that fear, though.  I can still choose to do hard things.

I want you to know that doing hard things is a skill to be desired and learned.  I’m not talking about things that are hard for no reason, like trying to roll over car just by pushing it.  That’s plain silly.  I’m talking about hard things that take determination, that require work, and that result in satisfaction.  Perhaps you’ll struggle with math or spelling.  Working diligently at your difficult subjects takes patience and dedication, but the reward is so worth the effort!

Maybe the hard thing you’ll need to do is telling the truth.  Whatever that looks like – confronting a wayward friend with Biblical truth or confessing to sin of your own – choose to do that hard thing.  The longer you wait, the harder it will be.  Determine to eat that frog and get it over with quickly.

It’s easy to see something that is difficult to accomplish and not want to try it at all.  I would encourage you to do it anyway.  Occasionally, you’ll realize that finishing it isn’t what’s best.  Maybe you’ll try a business venture that, after a good, long, hard trial, isn’t bearing fruit, and it’s time to pursue a different avenue.  That’s completely fine, because you still did the hard thing first.  More often than not, though, you’ll find that doing hard things reaps rewards beyond your imagination and that you can accomplish much, much more than you ever thought possible before you tried.

And just remember, I’ll be your biggest cheer leader as you do those hard things.

All my love,

Mommy

Day 6: Learn to be A Good Friend

Dear Little Princess,

Opportunities for friendships are everywhere.  And I encourage you to pursue deep, meaningful relationships with those around you.  It can be very easy, though, to become so wrapped up in domestic duties, work, childcare, and the daily grind that investing time in others becomes difficult and feels awkward.  I’m really talking to myself here, but since you may well end up developing a personality like mine – an introverted homebody – it’s a good topic to discuss.

Years ago, introversion (feeling shy and quiet in large groups) was poorly understood and often considered a flaw that needed to be treated.  I am so thankful that this is no longer the case and that people now better understand my God-given personality trait!  (Note:  You may not end up being an introvert, and that’s okay.  I’ll share more on that in the coming days, but for now, I’ll share about being a friend while being an introvert since that’s what my experience has been.)

I even think that Jesus might have even been an introvert.  When I read in the Gospels about His leaving for desolate places, I relate so well with His need for alone time.  But almost always when He tried to get away, huge crowds would follow.  Instead of running from them, as I would be tempted to do, He “had compassion on them, because they were like sheep without a shepherd” (Mark 6:34).

What an example to us!  One of the biggest ways we can deepen our friendships is by having compassion for people, and Jesus is the Perfect Example of this.  And I’ve found over the years that when I am willing to die to myself and put others first, even if I’m uncomfortable, that’s when I’m most able to be a good friend.

In addition to having compassion on others, Little Princess, focusing on God is the very best thing you can do to help you be a good friend.  Focusing on Him will enable you be at your best for serving others.  I’m often tempted to think, “How can I be a better friend to so-and-so?  Should I do this or do that?  What should I say?”  Instead, I need to simply focus on Christ.  If I’m focused on Him, He’ll be faithful to guide my words and actions so that they bless those around me and help me deepen my relationships with my friends.

Friendship was designed by God and is a blessing from Him.  Keep your eyes on Christ, and you will be able to bless your friends and those around you.

All my love,

Mommy

Day 5: Protect Your Modesty

Dear Little Princess,

About a year ago, we were helping Daddy clean out his office when his company moved.  A brand-new purple dress about my size was hanging in a storage room, having been left behind a video shoot.  Daddy asked permission for me to take it home.  Everyone agreed that I could have it.  Surprised that none of the ladies in the office wanted it, I asked why.  “Oh, it’s too conservative,” was the unanimous reply.  I was a little shocked that no one wanted this pricey dress.  The tag attached to the sleeve read $349.  I now own a very costly purple dress that no one else wanted, apparently because it wasn’t revealing enough for others’ liking.

We have the blessing and privilege of being created in the image of God, and with that privilege comes a precious responsibility.  Because we’re His image bearers, we need to treat our bodies as such.  I love how one blogger refers to modesty as “protecting our mystery.”  Modesty isn’t something that many people strive for these days, but it is something that is vitally important if we want to honor the Lord in all we do.

The Bible has much to say about clothing our bodies in a respectful manner (1 Tim. 2:9).  I want you to know that protecting your mystery – modesty in action – is a heart condition, not an outward fashion statement.  I’ve seen professing believers display cleavage and miniskirts, and I’ve seen those with no faith at all keep their bodies tastefully concealed.  That said, being modest does not mean that you have to dress frumpy or in an unattractive manner.  The Bible is also full of examples of the beauty of God’s creation.  Since we are part of that beautiful creation, we can and should dress our best in nice, properly fitting attire.

For you, Little Princess, I pray that you’ll desire to dress in a manner that pleases the Lord, not out of obligation to me or anyone else, but because the Holy Spirit impresses upon your heart that doing so pleases Him.  While Daddy and I will help guide your clothing choices while you’re here at home, eventually, you will have to choose for yourself what you decide to wear.  As with everything else in life, the Holy Spirit will be there to guide your actions.

Someday, I hope that the Lord will bless you with a husband.  If he is a Godly man, he will be thankful that you’ve protected your mystery from other eyes.  He will be grateful for your modesty.  Along those same lines, Godly men who will not become your husband will also appreciate your being adequately clothed.  Daddy can tell you numerous stories of being in uncomfortable settings all because someone else’s wife didn’t take modesty seriously.

All that to say, Little One, is that modesty is extremely important to God.  Take it seriously.  Don’t give in to the temptation to wear a compromising outfit.  Strive to honor the Lord in every area of your life, including your wardrobe.

All my love,

Mommy

Day 4: You Are Created in God's Image

Dear Little Princess,

Many people grow up believing that God has little or nothing to do with them, if they even believe in God at all.  But I want you to know that God has everything to do with you (and with every other person who has ever lived, as well).

He created you.  He loves you.  And He died for you.

Not only that, He designed you in His image.  Creating man in His own likeness is what sets us human beings apart from the animal kingdom.  We have souls.  We are eternal.  Whether we spend that eternity in Heaven with the Lord or in Hell with eternal damnation depends on whether or not we believe that Jesus, and only Jesus, can save us.  But whether or not we believe in God, that doesn’t change the fact that He is the Author of Life and that He is genuinely interested in our lives and wants to be a part of them.

Never forget that you are beautifully designed by God, and that He created you in His perfect image.  He didn’t make a mistake with you.  You’re not too tall or too short, too blond or too dark, or too spunky or too shy to fulfill His purpose for your life.  God never makes mistakes.

Sin can mar the beautiful image with which God created you, but repentance can also restore that image to it’s original beauty.  Although we will always have to live with the consequences of our sin, the God who created us is powerful enough to bring about beauty from our brokenness in ways that we could never imagine.  Don’t ever believe the lie that you’ve sinned too greatly to be forgiven or that you can never be used by God again.

When you’re tempted to sin, remember Whose image you bear.  Remember that you are setting an example to everyone around you, including me, Daddy, and your brothers.  Remember that the Earthly pleasures of this life are fleeting compared to the length of Eternity.  It’s not worth damaging God’s image.

All my love,

Mommy

Day 3: Jesus Is Our Perfect Example

Dear Little Princess,

Yesterday, when sharing about my imperfections, I mentioned that we need a Perfect Example to follow.  I can’t give you that perfect example, because while I’m alive on this Earth, I still have my old sin nature to deal with.  Everyone does.  But there is One sinless example we can follow:  Jesus Christ.

That’s the beauty the Christian life.  When our Earthly guides aren’t setting Godly examples at times, we have the perfect example of Christ to follow.  He was perfect in every way because He was God the Son Incarnate (that’s a fancy way of saying that He became 100% man while remaining 100% God).  He came to die on the cross and to take the eternal punishment that we deserved – the Perfect slain for the Imperfect.

There are many religions available today.  But the Christian faith stands apart from all the rest for this one thing:  the Bible teaches that no one can earn his way to Heaven.  Not by works, not by his own righteousness, not by living a chaste lifestyle.  The only way to Heaven is through Jesus Christ (John 14:6), believing that only He could die for our sins, and that in so doing, there is nothing more for us to do but to believe in the finished work on the cross.  While those of us who are saved do try to live a Godly life and do what pleases Him, we do it out of thanks, not as a way to earn our salvation.  We could never earn it; it is a free gift (Romans 6:23).

If I could only teach you one thing in life, it would be this:  a believing faith in Jesus’ death and resurrection is the only thing that can ever save you.  Understanding this truth is paramount to every other part of life.  Daddy and I pray every night that you and your brothers will grow up to love and serve the Lord.  We have no greater passion or urgency than to see you walk in truth.

The world will tell you that Christianity is a crutch that you don’t need, that to believe in the stories of the Bible is childish.  Truthfully, it can be intimidating to trust in Someone whom you’ve never seen.  However, I have witnessed His working in my life in so many amazing ways that I have no doubt that the God of the Bible is very real.  He Himself has promised to give us the faith needed to trust in Him (Ephesians 2:8-9).

So, sweet Little Princess, Daddy and I will continue to pray that you will grow up to be a Godly woman who puts God first, that you will follow Jesus’ example, and strive – with the help of the Holy Spirit – to honor the Lord in all you do.

All my love,

Mommy

Day 2: I'm An Imperfect Mommy

Dear Little Princess,

As much as I love being your mommy, you don’t need me to tell you that I’m imperfect.  I make mistakes, I yell too much, and I grow frustrated all too easily.  I want you to understand that I am a sinner saved by Grace, and that until we reach Heaven in the presence of Christ and are given new bodies, I still have my old nature to deal with here on Earth.  And honestly, I don’t deal with that old sin nature very well.  I forget that the Holy Spirit is guiding me and enabling me to do things the way the Lord wants me to.  I often choose to do things my own way, which results in sin.  I hate it, and it drives me crazy that I succumb to my old self so often.  I’m in good company, though:  the Apostle Paul struggled with the same things (Romans 7:15).

I hope that you can learn from my mistakes as well as my strong suits.  It’s easy to copy me in every way – including my sins – but know that you do not have to give in to the temptation to follow me in my weaknesses.  You need a Perfect Example to follow, and praise the Lord, He has provided One!  But I’m getting ahead of myself; that’s for tomorrow’s letter.

Thankfully, I’m not left to my own shortcomings, and neither are you.  The Holy Spirit fills in when I fail and rounds out my imperfect parenting.  When I stumble and fall, He lifts me up and sets me back on my feet, helping me the entire way.  This parenting thing, although very worth the effort, is also extremely hard.  I need the Holy Spirit’s help.  When things become to big for me to handle (and, really, I can’t handle anything without His help), I need Someone bigger than my problems to whom I can turn.  And the Spirit is always there, ready to help me through my day, teaching me patience, and prompting me to grow in Godliness.

For now, know that I am trying my best, with the Lord’s help, to set a Godly example for you, no matter how imperfect that might be at times.  I will continue to strive toward becoming more Christlike.  I pray that the Lord will continue to show me areas where I need to grow in my faith, where I need to use a softer tone of voice, where I need to trust Him fully.  I pray that you will learn from my imperfections as well as my strong suits, so that you will grow up to be a Godly young woman.

All my love,

Mommy

Day 1: I'm Thankful to be Your Mommy

Dear Little Princess,

I’m so thankful to be your mommy.  When we found out that you were going to be born, Daddy had just lost his job and our only car died.  We’d also just bought our house with a higher mortgage than the rent on our previous apartment.  It was not a fun time, but the excitement about you helped encourage us and gave us something to look forward to.  As a mommy of two wonderful little boys, I was eager to become a mommy to my little girl, too!

Oftentimes you’ll hear people complain about the high cost of raising children, the trouble kids cause, and the frustrations of parenthood.  While those things may be true at times, I want you to know that children are cause for celebration, are a source of great joy, and are gifts from the Lord.  You were our gift during a very hard time.

Your big brothers were so excited to have a baby “stister,” as Wing Man called you.  They helped me set up the crib, sort through a mountain of clothes that people gave us, and eagerly awaited your arrival.  It was so fun to see them so excited about your coming!

You were a very sweet baby and hardly ever cried.  You loved being held, you loved sitting in your bouncer, and you loved being entertained by your big brothers.  You were so content!  This was a huge blessing since Daddy was working nights and needed to sleep during the daytime.

When you were about two months old, I tried to get you to smile.  I encouraged you all week, but you only gave me half a smile here and there.  When Daddy noticed that I was trying to get you to grin, he walked over and tickled your feet.  Immediately, you broke out into a big, beaming smile!  He’s never let me forget that you smiled at him first.  I think he’s pretty proud of that!  “Mommy tried to get you to smile at her first, but Daddy got your first smile!” he’d say over and over.  This is just one example of the joy that you have brought to our family.

So, even if the Lord blesses you with a husband and children some day, know that there will be hard times.  Your brand new baby might vomit blood at four days old.  Your toddler might lose part of his finger in a door.  Your grade schooler might end up in intensive care with diabetes, or your husband might suffer from a chronic condition.

But the Lord also promises to be with you and to give you the strength to endure.  For me, He gave me you to help remind me that He is still good even when hard circumstances hit.  I am so thankful that He lent you to us, and I’m beyond thankful for the privilege of being your mommy.

All my love,

Mommy

31 Letters to My Little Princess

Dear Little Princess,

Starting tomorrow, I want to write a letter to you every day about some of the most important things in life.  There is so much more that I want to teach you than can possibly be jotted down in 31 letters, but I hope to include some of the greatest truths here for you to read and reread in the years ahead.  Some of the topics I want to cover are salvation, modesty, God's grace, and life's hardships.  I'll post each day's link onto this landing page so that you can easily access them any time you want to.

More than anything else, I want you to know that as much as I love you, God loves you even more.  He created you for His glory, and everything we do in life should be for His further glory.  Let's learn to honor Him together.

All my love,

Mommy

Day 1 - I'm Thankful to be Your Mommy

Day 2 - I'm An Imperfect Mommy

Day 3 - Jesus Is Our Perfect Example

Day 4 - You Are Created in God's Image

Day 5 - Protect Your Modesty

Day 6 - Learn to be A Good Friend

Day 7 - Do Hard Things

Day 8 - Don't Forget To Rest

Day 9 - Learn to be A Good Sister

Day 10 - Focus On Inner Beauty

Day 11 - Don't Neglect Your Appearance

Day 12 - Learn to be A Good Steward

Day 13 - Learn to be Discerning

Day 14 - When Daddy Met Mommy (Part 1)

Day 15 - When Daddy Met Mommy (Part 2)

Day 16 - On Choosing A Husband

Day 17 - Children Are A Blessing

Day 18 - Learn to be Flexible

Day 19 - You Can Love Pink When Mommy Loves Purple

Day 20 - Tomorrow Isn't Promised

Day 21 - Learn to Suffer Well

Day 22 - Why God Allows Suffering

Day 23 - Learn to Cook

Day 24 - Learn to Forgive Others

Day 25 - Learn to Forgive Yourself

Day 26 - Develop A Love of Reading

Day 27 - Find A Mentor

Day 28 - Find A Church Home

Day 29 - Learn to be Adventurous

Day 30 - Learn to be Gracious

Day 31 - Conclusion

A Life Lesson in Financial Stewardship

A life lesson in financial stewardship

Teachable moments pop up all the time, but I wasn't quite prepared for a sudden teaching opportunity on stewardship that came up last year.  Jon brought home something so bizarre that none of us could help staring at it in bewilderment.  (His parents found it in their garage, a remnant from the home's previous owners.)

It might be hard to tell, but that photo is of 38 one-dollar bills all laminated together.  Why on earth someone would do this and waste such a precious resource is beyond me.  It was a sorry sight and didn't take much calculating to figure out what percent of a typical paycheck was stuck in that plastic graveyard.

Instead of crying over the spilled milk, though, we turned it into a lesson for the kids.  We asked the spark plugs whether or not the person who had laminated his dollar bills had been wise with his money; whether or not it was a good idea to deface money; and whether or not there were better ways of preserving currency.  We then moved on to some deeper questions:  in what other ways do we waste possessions that could be compared to the laminated money?  What could we learn about stewardship from this odd object?

Next, we looked into ways of fixing the problem.  Jon had done some Googling that said occasionally banks would take the ruined money and exchange it for legal tender, so Monday the kids and I visited various banks to find out the validity of this claim.  Based on the gawking stares of numerous bank tellers, I'm pretty sure most of them had never seen anything so strange before.  While none of them were willing to exchange it, we were given the federal web site for damaged and defaced currency where we found instructions for mailing in the laminated bills.  Supposedly, we'll be reimbursed for the ruined 38 dollars.

We've not yet mailed the specimen to Washington's defaced currency agency, but it will be fun to find out what happens.  While we might never be able to redeem those 38 dollars, we were able to glean very valuable lessons on using wisdom, being good stewards, and thinking through our actions.  It was definitely worth the $38!

Update:  we did mail in the laminated money, but unfortunately, we never heard anything back from the office we mailed it to.  Since we sent it by certified mail and received notice that it was delivered, we're assuming that the office doesn't normally reimburse people for ruined currency.  Lesson learned!

Your turn:  Have you come across unexpected lessons?  What have you learned from them?  Have you ever dealt with ruined money?  How did you handle it?

A life lesson in financial stewardship

Finding Balance When There Isn't Any

Finding balance when there isn't any

I like to be organized. I like to be balanced. I like to be prepared. I like to be punctual. And for those of you who know me well, you're probably laughing right now, since you know that I'm NOT organized, balanced, prepared, or punctual.

The summer before we began homeschooling, I started stressing over how I was going to be a good wife, mom, housekeeper, and teacher. Much as I wished to be a good homemaker, I wasn't a competent housekeeper even before I took on the task of teaching the spark plugs. So how was I going to add their education to my already-full plate without dropping the ball in some other area?

And then something a friend asked really resonated with me: how do you find balance when there isn't any?

When there isn't one?

I had never before thought about the possibility that I was looking for a balance that simply didn't exist. I had assumed that, miraculously, I needed to find the missing key in order to do it all. But I think my friend was right. There simply isn't a key, or a balance, to be found. It's not there, or at least it doesn't exist as we see it in our minds.

After this mental breakthrough, I stopped stressing (as much). Each day, we try to get the bulk of our school work done, with a few household chores sprinkled throughout our day. And when the housework builds up to the point that it's inhibiting either our functionality or our health, we simply reverse our priorities. We try to get the bulk of our housework done while we listen to audio lessons (books on tape or podcasts, anyone?).

Finding balance when there isn't any

Am I neglecting the kids' education by doing so?  Not at all.  Not only are we still accomplishing lots of learning on our cleaning days, but I also realized early on that homeschooling has very little to do with workbooks and a great deal to do with life. Teaching children about home management is just as necessary as learning to count.  Keeping our home tidy is a good witness to others, since it enables us to have people over at the drop of a hat.  It's doing what's Biblical (see Titus 2).  And it encourages better learning on other days, since we're not constantly hunting for lost school books and misplaced pencils.

Plus, we can also incorporate learning into scrubbing bathroom sinks. We can sing through our educational songs while working. We can count the toys as we toss them into the toy box. We can stop to read a book before sliding it back on the shelf.

And, if the house is clean, I'm a happier person, which translates into a better teacher the following day.  The spark plugs gladly put up with a day of chores rather than deal with a constantly-grumpy mom.  And the kids are also recognizing the benefits of a clean house.  "Mom, I actually like it when my room is clean.  I have room to play with my Legos now!"  Turbo told me triumphantly.

This system of changing focus as needed isn't a perfect solution, but it's what's working for us at the moment. As our needs change, so will our strategies. These days, I find that I'm learning at least as much as the kids are. To me, that's really exciting!

Life truly isn't balanced, and it was quite silly of me for trying to make it so. This is yet another area where I'm learning to roll with life's hiccups. Perhaps someday I'll actually discover my sea legs instead of falling apart every time a wave of life hits!

Your turn:  How about you?  How do you manage homeschooling and homemaking?  What methods do you find most effective?  I'd love to know!

Finding balance when there isn't any

Grandpas Weren't Supposed to Die

Note:  The Hallway Initiative uses affiliate links.  Please see my disclosure policy here.

Last weekend didn’t go the way I had planned.

At all.

I was planning for Sunday to be a busy day:  Jon and the kids had coffee fellowship setup at church; I was scheduled to play piano; and we had commitments in between services in preparation for our church’s annual Christmas Sunday the following week.  To get ready for all of our church activities, I thought that Saturday would be a good day to take things easy and to rest up.  It seemed like a perfect plan.

Saturday morning, I had a great visit with my dad.  He was doing yard work while Mom and my sister were at a baby shower, then they all planned to drive down to see my grandparents and to take them out to dinner.  That sounded like a lovely plan, too.

Plans are good – necessary, even.  But just because you plan on something doesn’t mean that it’s set in stone.

I wasn’t expecting a text from my sister telling me that Grampie had collapsed and hit his head on the concrete kitchen floor moments before they arrived for that planned-on dinner.

I knew it was bad even before she followed up with the doctor’s report after he’d been taken by ambulance to the nearest trauma center.  As the hours wore on and the news grew increasingly grim – a stroke, two brain bleeds, broken bones, and punctured lung – I saw my pretty little plans crumbling.

So I made new ones.

We’d go to church for setup and piano playing and find volunteers to take over the rest of our obligations so that I could pop over and see Grampie at the trauma center, “just in case.”  Sometime in the middle of service, we received more detailed information, including the doctor’s suggestion that family needed to come if they were going to do so, and the sooner, the better.

I thought I would make it in time.

I didn’t.

I would have dearly loved to have seen him alive one last time.  But that’s the thing about God’s ways:  His ways aren’t mine.  They’re far better.  Even when I cannot see how that can always be, I can trust that they are because He has promised me that it is so.  Maybe He knew that I couldn’t handle being there to see Grampie slip away.  I may never know the reason He prevented me from one last hand squeeze, but I do know that God is good and that He has my best in mind in every situation.

Although death comes to all living things on Earth now, it wasn’t that way in the beginning.  When the Lord God first created the Heavens and the Earth, He said, “It is good.”  But when sin – and therefore death – entered, it was no longer good.  At all.

Flowers weren’t supposed to wilt.  Animals weren’t supposed to perish. Leaves weren’t supposed to fall from the trees.

Grandpas weren’t supposed to die.

Grandpas weren't supposed to die

As hard as it is to lose a loved one, Death is inescapable.  It is not good.  It is not as God originally intended.  Yet, the Lord can and has redeemed even Death by offering us Eternal life through Christ Jesus.  For those who believe in the finished work on the Cross, Death can remind us of the beauty of Heaven, where Death will be unknown, where sorrow will be forgotten.  That’s how the Lord can be glorified even in something as sad, unpleasant, and awful as Death, because it still points toward Him and Heaven and Eternal Life.

Sorrow may last for a night, but for the believer, joy comes in the morning.  He brings forth beauty from ashes once again.

Your turn:  Have you lost a loved one?  If so, I’d love to pray for you.  Let me know in the comments.