How To Trust God’s Goodness When Your Circumstances Aren’t Working Out (Guest Post)
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We’re blessed once again to have a guest poster here at The Hallway! Heather Goffrier opens up about her struggle with multiple miscarriages. She shares with us how we can trust in God’s goodness even when our circumstances aren’t what we wish they were. God is good no matter what our circumstances are, and Heather offers us a beautiful blend of coping with our pain while clinging to God’s goodness. Her beautiful post truly blessed me, and I know it will encourage you, too, no matter what season you find yourself in.
It might have been because we had just had our third miscarrage that the post I read on Facebook caused me so much discomfort.
My friend had just had a baby, and it was cause for much celebration on Facebook. I would never begrudge anyone a new baby post, and I too have celebrated my kids births with joyous Facebook posts. But the words my friend wrote were something like this: “Things were a little touch and go after the birth, and the baby struggled a bit, but God was good and he is doing well now!”
You see, my heart was anchored on to the truth that God is in fact good, but we lost our unborn baby. Three of them, actually. I was clinging onto God’s goodness even when I didn’t get what I desperately wanted, and this post made me pause. My thought was, “God is good and she got to bring her baby home. And, God is good and I lost mine.”
It sounded awkward in my head and felt awkward in my heart.
And knowing my friend, she didn’t mean to come across that God’s goodness means things work out the way we want them to. She has seen her own depths of sorrow and difficulty.
But does God’s goodness change or waiver? Is it affected by our circumstances? No, God’s goodness never changes because His goodness is a part of His character.
The hard thing for us is that we can’t always SEE His goodness. When our circumstances make our hearts melt with anguish, that suffering and sadness is all we can see. We can’t see what is really going on spiritually, or in the grand scheme of things like God can.
When we are downcast, how to we get back to where we can feel God’s goodness? When we’re not seeing it, but we are holding onto hope that He is in fact still good, somehow, some way? If we could only see from a heavenly perspective, like when Elisha asked God to reveal the truth about their situation to his servant. God opened the servant’s eyes, and suddenly he could see the armies of the Lord surrounding their enemies. (2 Kings 6:8-23. I encourage you to read the story, it’s amazing!)
God Desires Us To Live In Truth
I wanted to feel God’s goodness but I was also shattered by the loss of yet another pregnancy. One thing I’ve learned through and since this difficult time is that God wants us to be honest. John 4:24 says, “God is spirit [the Source of life, yet invisible to mankind], and those who worship Him must worship in spirit and truth.” (Amplified)
In a time of loss, it’s important to be honest about what we are really feeling. The grieving process is natural, healthy, and important to go through, and it takes facing our feelings even if little by little.
A step beyond facing our own feelings is taking those feelings to God and processing them with Him honestly. He knows everything about us, but there is something intimate and refreshing about going before the Lord and acknowledging our thoughts and feelings. It might be something like, “Lord, I’m feeling like You’re really not very good even though You say You are.”
Listen For His Voice And Learn What The Bible Says
I think it’s a lost art to be silent. To stop talking, stop asking, and allow God to speak. What might He say into the silence? What has He been waiting to tell you, but you haven’t been able to hear Him yet?
Once we are honest about our emotions with ourselves and God, I’ve learned that we can ask God what He wants us to know about them. Literally, “Lord, what do you want me to know about me feeling like you’re not good? Or about my circumstances?”
Through many times of asking God what He wants me to know about many different situations, I have sensed the Lord whisper His truth to me. He always speaks what I needed to hear in that moment. Some examples: I am in control. I’m still good. I am with you. I love you. I haven’t left you.
When It Feels Like God Isn’t Good
If we feel like God isn’t good, it might be that we have fallen into the false idea that God’s goodness is measured by our circumstances. When we engage with God and start to listen to His voice, we can use what we hear as a guide to go deeper into the Word and learn more about what He says. For example, if He’s assuring us that He is with us, we can search the scriptures for encouragement on how He is with us. Often a related verse or Bible story may even pop into your mind during prayer (thanks to the Holy Spirit) and you can then go to look it up.
But I Still Feel Bad
Realizing that God is still good when our circumstances are terrible doesn’t mean that all of a sudden, we’ll be all happy and everything will feel perfect again. Far from it.
In our painful losses, believing that God was good didn’t take away the sadness of our miscarriage.
And seeing my friend’s post ultimately drove me deeper into my convictions that yes, God is in fact good, regardless of what I am going through. And the reason it did was because I engaged with God about that post and about my whole situation. I processed my feelings and told Him my deepest sorrows. He literally walked with me through my pain, and showed His goodness through His care of my spirit. As I let go of my dreams and desires into His hands and grieved my loss, I experienced the peace that passes all understanding (Philippians 4:5b-7) in a way that I never had before.
I encourage you to keep your hope in the Lord and remember that He goes behind and before you. He is always with you, even during the darkest of days. And His goodness remains true-- we just may need to process our emotions to recognize it again.
About Heather Goffrier
Heather Goffrier is a Navy wife & mom of three daughters ages 6, 3 and almost 2. On her blog Strong With Grace, she helps moms gain confidence through parenting tips for toddlers and newborns, marriage communication tips, encouragement for moms & managing house routines. She loves chocolate and can be found eating treats in the pantry when her kids aren’t looking. You can connect with her on her blog, on Facebook, and on Pinterest!
