Are You A 10-Thousand Hour Christian?

In his book Outliers (a book I found fascinating but one that's not written from a Biblical perspective), author Malcom Gladwell explains that becoming an expert in any given field generally requires ten thousand hours of practice.  Since the book covers such areas as music, sports, and chess, I never thought about applying the "10-thousand-hour" principle to anything other than occupations and hobbies.  But when blogger Catherine Gregory built her entire platform on the premise of becoming a 10-thousand-hour mama, wheels started turning in my head.  Where else could the 10-k principle be applied?

This past July 3rd marked my 29th year as a Christian.  I did the math, and it turns out that I've been a Christ follower for over 254,000 hours.  Even if you subtract all the hours that I've slept through (since I can't really work on my faith while asleep), I've hit the prized 10-thousand-hour mark over and over and over.

I know many other Christians who have been saved for a lot longer than I have, meaning they have even more faith hours under their belts.  But there seems to be one common thread between every single believer:

I don't know any Christian who feels as though he's excelling in his faith.

Why is that?

Part of it could be that although we've been saved for years, we don't actually spend that much of our lives actively cultivating a deeper walk with Christ.  Were we to count only the hours we actually spend in prayer, Bible study, and listening to sermons, there would be far fewer believers who've hit the 10-thousand-hour mark.

More than that, though, is the fact that no matter how hard we work, how much time we devote to study and prayer, and how faithfully we attend church, there is infinitely more to learn about the Christian faith.  We could never exhaust it in ten-thousand lifetimes, let alone 10-thousand hours.

That's why the concept of an endless Eternity spent with Christ is so fascinating to me.  Once we're in Heaven with the Lord, we will have all the time in the world to study the Glory of God.

But in full disclosure, I haven't always thought that Heaven sounded amazing.  As a kid, I kind of wondered, "What will we do with all that time on our hands?"  Thankfully, my perspective on and attitude toward Heaven have changed drastically over the years as I've matured in my faith and come to a deeper understanding of God's holiness.

I may not feel like an expert Christian, but I can see the growth I've made over the years.  And I want more growth.  I would love to feel like a 10-thousand-hour Christian some day - not out of pride, but because it is the most worthwhile pursuit I could ever undertake.

With that goal in mind, I'm currently working on 5 key areas to help foster a deeper faith:

Study the Word daily.

When I was growing up, my parents had me read my Bible on a daily basis.  This became a habit for me, and I now rarely miss a day.  (On those days when I do miss, I'm very thankful for grace.)  That doesn't mean it's always easy, but if I work at it, I can stay fairly consistent.

Since the Bible is the foundation for my entire faith, starting out by reading God's Word is an excellent starting point for better spiritual growth.  If we don't know what the Bible says, how can we put it into practice?

Pray frequently.

I love to pray.  It's something simple, free, and very needed that I can do for both myself and for others.  Even though I've been faithfully praying for years, though, just recently the Lord showed me the need to pray not just for the removal of trials, but for spiritual growth as a result of those trials.  Maybe most Christians already know how important this kind of praying is, but it's new to me.

Fellowship with other believers.

The Bible clearly teaches that we are to stay in fellowship with other believers (see Hebrews 10:24-25).  When at church, we sing praises to God, hear His Word preached and taught, and find encouragement through other believers.  It's a win-win-win situation!

Another great way to be in fellowship is to find a Godly Christian older lady to mentor you.  You can think of it as "finding your Paul," as Chip Ingram puts it in Good to Great in God's Eyes.  Several years ago, a friend of mine had been encouraging me to find a mentor in my church.  I was reluctant for a while, but after her continued, gentle pushing, I asked one of our church ladies to be my mentor.  It's been excellent for my spiritual growth, because my "older lady" is willing to ask me hard questions in order to help me expand my faith.

Read solid Christian literature.

Many, many Godly people have walked before us on this journey of faith, leaving behind some fantastic Christian literature for our benefit.  As long as we're diligent to read things that are based on God's Word and that don't take liberties outside of what the Bible teaches, reading solid Christian literature can help us grow tremendously in our faith.

And it isn't only fallen heroes of the faith who have worthwhile things to say; there are many newer books available now, too, that are just as good.  Blogs, videos, and podcasts can offer other sources of Godly material, too.  Just use discernment as you go through things to make sure that everything lines up with the Bible.

Minister to unbelievers.

Ministering to unbelievers is an excellent way to actively look for ways to share the Gospel.  It puts feet to our faith.  And it provides a great reason for us to make sure we really know what God's Word says.  If we're going to be sharing the Good News with others, we first need to know what that good news is.

We also need reminders to keep ourselves humble as we pursue the world for Christ.  The Bible promises that the Gospel is going to be offensive enough just on its own.  While we can't do anything to change that, we can read Scripture and ask God's help in staying humble as we share so that our own actions don't add to that offense.

I won't ever feel like a 10-thousand-hour Christian until I reach Heaven, but I can take steps to increase my faith.  By studying God's Word, praying frequently, fellowshipping with other believers, reading good Christian literature, and ministering to unbelievers, I hope to increase my Christian walk - with the Spirit's help.

Will you join me?

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Why Does Biblical Parenting Matter?

Why does Biblical parenting matter?

Note:  Some of the links in this post are affiliate links.  You can read my disclosure policy here.

I called this series "The What, How, and Why of Biblical Parenting," but in hind sight, I should have switched the how and the why.  Because really, if you don't know why you're doing something, the how doesn't matter all that much.

I've heard Biblical parenting put down over and over again.  "Experts" claim that it doesn't work, that it's archaic, that there are now better and more modern ways of child rearing.

So, why does Biblical parenting matter?

Biblical parenting matters because God's Word commands us to do it. 

That's really all there is to it.  All the child-rearing experts in the world can claim whatever they want about Biblical parenting.  If they are recommending that I do something contrary to God's Word, they are in error.  There may be newer, more appealing ways of stewarding these little charges from the Lord, but if those new ways don't align with what the Bible teaches, these ways are not for believers.

We're commanded to raise up Godly offspring.  And while we cannot save our children, we can be obedient to teach them the ways of the Lord to the best of our ability.  We can administer justice and give mercy.  We can be both firm and gentle; the two are not incompatible, as evidenced by two of God's attributes:  He is both loving and just.

I'm not necessarily against all modern-day parenting wisdom.  The loving aspect of attachment parenting is to be commended.  But it's the attachment-parenting's tendency toward indulgence that causes me to pause.  I once read about a mother who dropped everything she was doing every time her toddler wanted her attention.  Finishing a conversation with your spouse before turning your attention to your children - provided there isn't an emergency - teaches patience and respect.

Speaking softly to a child, no matter the circumstances, shows a great deal of patience on a parent's part and should be commended in most cases.  But if there is an oncoming car and my child is standing in the street, or if Turbo's blood sugar is low and he's too absentminded to get a snack, I will yell for the safety of the child.  There is no sin in those instances.  (That said, I personally yell too much when it's not needed, and it's something I'm working on.  I hope to share some of my victories and tips in upcoming post.)

Sadly, I've seen other parents - even other Christian parents - get caught up in parenting strategies that stray from what the Bible teaches.  One young mom fell in love with the idea that "there are no bad children," and another believed that we simply need to model good behavior for our kids and that they'll naturally follow suit.  Yes, we absolutely need to model Biblical behavior, and there is much to love about ourlittle ones.  But to say that a child is "born" good and that society turns him toward evil is in direct opposition of what the Bible says (Romans 3:23).

All of this confusion raises another question:  How can you be sure what the Bible really teaches about parenting?

There's really only one way to determine what is and what isn't Biblical parenting, and that's to read God's Word.  There are parenting tidbits sprinkled throughout Scripture, both about what to do and what not to do as we raise these little arrows.

Every day, as you read the Scriptures, keep a notebook and jot down every reference to parenting.  Pray about what the Lord is teaching you and begin applying it in your daily parenting attempts.  Ask the Lord how He would have you parent.  Involve your spouse as much as possible; parenting is a team effort!

Read quality parenting books written from a Biblical perspective.  If you need suggestions, I found Ginger Hubbard's Don't Make Me Count to Three and Give Them Grace by Elyse Fitzpatrick and Jessica Thompson to be helpful.  The Shepherding A Child's Heart series also comes highly recommended, but in complete honesty, I personally found it to be a dry read and never finished it.

It's important to Biblically parent our children, but we also need to understand why it is so important.  Since God has commanded us to this kind of parenting, we need to follow His commandment with all our heart, praying for wisdom and humility as we do so.  Don't forget that the goal of Biblical parenting is to reach our children's heart for Christ.

The Holy Spirit will equip us as believers to follow through on any task that God has given us, including the task of child rearing.  Even if you feel overwhelmed by the idea of Biblical parenting, take comfort in know that that He is equipping us to obey!

Your turn:  How do you view Biblical parenting?  What verses have been most helpful to you as you raise your little ones in light of the Gospel?

Why does Biblical parenting matter?

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10 Spiritual Lessons I Learned from Running

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All during grade school, I ran a mile or more almost every week day.  I wasn't a good runner:  I wasn't fast, and I didn't enjoy it.  I'm sure some seasons I ran more than others, but over all, I kept at it because I knew it was good for me (well, that and the fact that my mom required it to fulfill my PE requirements).  In college I ran frequently, too, more out of the need for a study break than for anything else.

But after I got married, pregnancy, injury, and other demands got in the way of running.  I didn't run for over a decade.  In the past few weeks, though, I've started running again.  And I've been amazed at the spiritual lessons I've learned from physical exercise.

Worthwhile pursuits take effort.

Running - or any other form of exercise, for that matter - doesn't come easily to me.  I'm not a naturally-gifted athlete.  I have to work hard in order to build up even a small amount of endurance.  Most worthwhile things in life, though, are going to require serious effort.

The same is true of our spiritual lives.  If we're just haphazardly reading a few verses here and there every few days, it's likely that we won't grow much in our spiritual walk.  In order to deepen our faith, we need to make the effort to set aside time to diligently study God's Word.

Goal-setting is the key to accomplishment.

The reason I began running again is because my dad and sister want me to run a 5K fun run with them in September.  (I'm still not sure why they're called fun runs; nothing about running is enjoyable to me except for the sense of accomplishment that comes after I've gone running.)  This is a specific, time-bound goal, and it's something I can aim for.

So, too, we should be setting goals for our spiritual lives as well.  I recently checked out my library's copy of Chip Ingram's book Good to Great In God's Eyes, where the author talks about setting goals for growing our faith.  We apply goal setting to nearly every other area of our lives; why not to our spiritual growth as well?

You need accountability.

I either go running by myself after Jon gets home from work and while the kids are still napping, or I take the kids with me in the morning (big kids on bikes, Baby D in the jogging stroller).  Although trying to get everyone going in the same direction and at the same pace is a bit cumbersome, I much prefer going with the kids than on my own.  With them there to encourage me, I tend to run farther and faster while taking fewer breaks.

We need that same kind of accountability in our Christian walk.  If no one's asking how we're doing in our faith, we could easily lose heart or simply stop caring about our spiritual growth.  We need other believers to cheer us on, to keep us on track, and to confront us on our sin.  We'll never grow spiritually without the support of others.

Don't worry about what other people think.

I have a really awkward gate when I run.  I kick out my heels in a goofy way, and if I'm particularly tired, my feet will slap the pavement.  Add in my poor posture, and I look pretty silly when I run!  I was tempted not to go out running for fear of what people would think of my crazy running style, but I'm glad I didn't let that stop me.  For one thing, I wouldn't be getting into shape, and for another, I wouldn't have been able to write this post.  :)

The world is going to make fun of Christians.  We appear crazy to unbelievers.  While we should make every effort to be kind and loving toward those who find us weird or even repulsive, we shouldn't let what other people think prevent us from following Christ.

Appearances can be deceiving.

I've been following a run/walk pattern my dad told me about.  I run for about 3 minutes, then walk a minute, then run again.  The slight break that walking gives me helps me catch my breath and rest my muscles without letting my heart rate drop too drastically.  The end result is that I can go further with less injury.

What ends up happening is that I run out of our mobile home park toward the trail behind our house, run/walk along the trail, then run back into the park.  I'm sure that my neighbors all think that I'm constantly running since they see me run out and run back in.  But the truth is that I take a lot of walking breaks that they don't see.

The same thing happens in other areas of life, too.  We see the pastor who can suggest Bible passages effortlessly and the Christian lady who always smiles no matter how hard life is.  But what we don't see are the years that the pastor poured into studying God's Word or the countless hours the lady has spent on her knees asking the Lord for strength.

We should avoid the comparison game at all costs.  It's unbiblical, and nobody wins.  Be happy for those who are doing well in certain areas and ask them for advice so that you can improve in your life, too.  And always remember that the small snippets you see of someone else's life are just that - quick snapshots from a lengthy film.  They never represent the whole picture.

Sometimes you have to spit out the yucky stuff.

I don't take water with me when I run.  Because I don't like carrying things and since I don't run that far, I can get away with just drinking water before and after I exercise.  But my labored breathing combined with summer temperatures often means that my mouth dries out so much I can't swallow.  At the risk of sharing too much info, there's no way to get rid of the saliva in my mouth other than to spit it out.  It's not pretty or lady-like, but it's occasionally necessary, because if I don't get rid of it, it threatens to impede my breathing.

There will be ugly things in life.  Sometimes, there's nothing to do but spit out the sin, repent of it, and move on.  Otherwise, sin will choke us.  At best, it will hinder our spiritual lives; at worst, it will destroy us.  Just get rid of it.

Invest in the right equipment.

For the past several years, I've owned a hot-pink pair of New Balance tennis shoes that I bought on clearance.  I'm not usually picky about my shoes and just buy whatever's least expensive, but this particular brand of shoe never fit my foot well.  (I guess that's the down side to buying shoes online.)

My first few runs in those shoes were miserable.  They were old enough that there was no cushion left.  When I noticed that the insides were starting to tear, I couldn't he happier, because I finally felt that a new pair was warranted.  When my new Asics - my favorite brand of tennis shoe because they fit my feet so well - arrived, I couldn't believe how much better my running was!

While it's good to be frugal, there are times when investing in a Bible study book, online class, or running shoe is the right move.  I don't often think about investing in my spiritual growth, which is truly sad since this is the most important area of my life.  Physical exercise is good, but Spiritual exercise bears with it the weight of Eternity.

You need a day of rest.

"Why is "remember the Sabbath day, to keep it holy," the one commandment we so often ignore?"  When my pastor's wife asked me this question, it got me thinking about how true it was.  While most Christians really do try to keep all of the 10 Commandments, resting one day a week is still a struggle for many of us, myself included.

It's funny, but I noticed a comparison with my running as well.  While I can get in about 4 good runs a week, I've found that taking a deliberate day off instead of constantly running back-to-back is extremely beneficial.  It lets my body recover better and helps me to stay injury-free.  The Lord certainly knew what He was doing when He made this a requirement.

Caring for one area of life often results in improvements elsewhere.

Some years ago, I was diagnosed with inflamed arteries.  Basically, one test suggested that although I was only 29 at the time, I had the arteries of a 47-year-old.  Those are not good statistics for someone under the age of 30!  Although I didn't start running right then - we soon found out that Baby D was on his way - it was one of my motivations for getting back into running now, since I'm pretty recovered from that last pregnancy.

Even though reducing that inflammation and increasing my stroke rate (the amount of blood that my heart can move in one pulse) were my main goals, I've noticed that my clothes fit more comfortably, that I have increased energy, and that I'm sleeping better, too.  Taking care of the inflammation resulted in improvement elsewhere.

So, too, when I place priority on my spiritual life, other areas of conflict often improve along with it.  Spending time with the Lord naturally helps me with patience and joy, and those things give me an improved perspective in other areas of my life.  The result is that I see improvement not only in my spiritual growth but also in my relationships and other activities.

The result is worth the effort.

Running takes hard work, work I often don't feel like doing.  But the results of improved health, greater vitality, and quality sleep are well worth it.

Putting time into my spiritual life also takes effort.  If the effort for running is worth it, then the spiritual ramifications of applying myself to my Bible study is even more so.

When I started out on my running journey, I wasn't looking for spiritual lessons.  I just wanted to get healthy.  But the Lord has miraculously arranged things so that, for Christians, our spiritual growth intersects every other aspect of our lives.  One by one, these little lessons jumped out at me as I trudged over my jogging trail.  It's beautiful to see this interweaving He orchestrates!

Related:  Tracy shares her experience with running every day for a year.

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Does God Carry Your Suitcase?

"Father, what is sex sin?" asked Corrie Ten Boom on the train one afternoon, having heard the word in a poem at school.

Instead of answering, Father handed Corrie his suitcase.  "Corrie, can you carry my suitcase for me?" He questioned.

Try as she might, little Corrie couldn't lift the heavy travel bag.  "I'm not big enough yet, Father," she admitted reluctantly.

"So it is with sex sin, Corrie.  There are some things that are too heavy for a child to carry.  For now, you must trust me to carry certain things for you, and when you are able to handle them, I will tell you about them."

Years later, after having been arrested for assisting Jews during WWII, Corrie and her father were imprisoned.  Although Corrie lived through her internment, her father died from illness after just 10 short days.  Unable at first to understand why God allowed him to die, Corrie finally decided that the Lord's reasoning was too much for her to grasp right then.  She made the choice to let God carry this "suitcase" for her.

What in your life right now is too heavy for you?  Are you leaving it in the Lord's hands, or are you constantly struggling with the weight of it yourself?  I'm definitely of the "suitcase-carrying" kind of person.  I worry and stew about things I have no control over, as if somehow my fretting is going to change the situation for the better.

I have a list of suitcases I attempt to carry:  Jon's CSF leak; Turbo's diabetes; family finances; the spark plugs' health.  I've convinced myself that worrying about these and other issues means I care more deeply about my family than I would if I weren't unduly concerned.  But if I'm honest here, carrying my own troubles is nothing more than sin, selfishness, and a lack of faith.  Calling sin by its name doesn't really leave much room for pretending that it's something else, does it?

If you're struggling with something in life, be it family issues, money woes, poor health, or lack of faith, there are three questions you should ask yourself:

• Why are you struggling with this?
• What is causing you to resist leaving it in God's capable hands?
• What can you do today to start leaving it with Him?

I don't ask myself these questions very often, but I need to start doing it regularly.  When I'm faithful to consider them, the answers are convicting.

• I struggle with things because I am a naturally-gifted worrier.  Fretting comes easily to me; I don't have to work at it, and yet it's an area where, sadly, I excel.
• Lack of trust in God's promises and faithfulness and my own selfish pride cause me to hang onto things when I should leave them fully with God.
• If I truly want to stop carrying my suitcases, I can pray, read Scripture, and ask others to keep me accountable.

Your answers may look similar to mine, or they may be completely different.  My hope is that taking the time to consider your own answers will challenge you to release your "suitcase" into the Lord's capable hands.  He'll hold it until you're ready to handle it, whether that's sometime in the coming days or not until you reach Heaven.

For many months following her arrest, Corrie had to be content knowing that the Lord would carry the suitcase of her father's death.  But as the war dragged on and the concentration camp grew more and more brutal, Corrie at last understood why God had taken her father Home.  Dying from illness had spared him from the beatings, humiliation, starvation, and shootings that took place in the men's quarters.  The Lord in His goodness had been merciful.

What about you?  Are you able to leave your worries, cares, and concerns with the Lord even if He chooses not to reveal His reasoning?  Although my heart wants to do this, my flesh is still weak.  I am constantly fighting the urge to take back my worries.  I have a feeling that this will be a life-long battle for me, but as my faith continues to grow, I hope that I will grab the suitcase handle less and less frequently.

I don't need to know all of God's reasons; I just need to trust that He will safeguard that information until it's time for Him to reveal them.

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What Is true Biblical Parenting?

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What, exactly, is true Biblical parenting?

Even though I grew up in church, grew up reading God's Word, and grew up in a Christian home, I still had to ask myself what Biblical parenting really was.  So if you aren't quite sure of the answer, either, you're in good company.

I used to think that good parenting would simply result in good children.  I thought that if I were diligent to punish bad behavior and reward good actions, I would be following Biblical parenting guidelines and all would be well.  But I was wrong on many levels.

Biblical parenting, just like the Christian faith, is not nearly as focused on outward behavior as it is the inner attitude of the heart. 

Amazingly enough, the Scripture passage that I now lean on to guide my parenting mindset has little to do with parenting directly.

"He has shown you, O man, what is good; and what does the Lord require of you but to do justly, to love mercy, and to walk humbly with your God?" - Micah 6:8

This verse gives me what I refer to as the four pillars of true Biblical parenting:

• Obedience (the Lord requires it of parents)
• Justice
• Mercy
• Humility

We need each part of this verse to balance out everything else.  If we were to leave out even one part, we wouldn't be parenting our children in a God-honoring manner.  If we were to avoid the commandment all together, we would be in sin.  If we were to skip justice, sin would have free reign in our children.  Were we to be unmerciful, we would exasperate our children (see Ephesians 6:4).  If we didn't walk in humility and dependence on God for wisdom, we would believe that we were capable of saving our children, something that only Christ's work on the cross could do (John 14:6).

My mistake was in assuming that controlling my spark plugs' outward actions would govern their inward faith.  But the Bible clearly states that salvation rests solely with the Lord; it is not something that I could give my kids no matter how diligent I am to correct and encourage.  I had failed to hunger after justice; failed to desire mercy; and failed to be humble.  I was a Biblical parenting disaster waiting to happen!

What is true Biblical parenting?

Slowly, the Lord has opened my eyes to what true Biblical parenting is.  Yes, it does require correcting and rewarding outward actions, but it's ultimate goal is to reach our children's hearts for Christ.  That is the most crucial component to true Biblical parenting:  sharing the Gospel with our unsaved little sinners.  If our parenting method has any other goal than teaching our kids about Christ's death and resurrection and their need for a Savior, we have missed the point completely.

Let's aim this week to obey God's commandment to parent Biblically:  to seek justice, love mercy, and walk humbly with our Creator.

Your turn:  Do you have a Biblical understanding of what Godly parenting is?  Do you struggle with any of the pillars of true Biblical parenting: obedience, justice, mercy, or humility?  If so, know that I'm right there with you.

What is true Biblical parenting?

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The What, How, and Why of Biblical Parenting

The what, how, and why of Biblical parenting

"What are your family and friends constantly asking you about?  Start blogging about that.  Chances are good that if they want to know, your readers will, too.  And if you're being asked about it, you probably have something worth sharing."

The above advice was part of a blogging class I'm currently taking.  I thought it was fabulous advice...until I started thinking about what it is people ask me.

"What do you do when your toddler throws a tantrum?"

"How do you stop being an angry mom?"

"Your kids are so well-behaved; how do you do it?"

"Do you have any tips for potty training?"

I get these and other questions frequently.  Maybe it's because I have a lot of children.  Maybe I just look like someone who would know the answers.  Whatever the reason, people often ask me for parenting advice.  And that's the problem:  for a number of reasons, I don't actually enjoy giving parenting advice.

• First, I don't feel exceptionally qualified to give it.  I haven't found any magical formula for child-rearing that I'm dying to share with the world.  I'm just a struggling mama like everyone else around me.
• Second, I'm not sure people really want to hear what I have to say about parenting.  I parent from a Biblical perspective, and unless those asking are of the same faith as I am, my methods will probably come across sounding old-fashioned.
• Third, my oldest is 11.  I haven't even hit the teenage years yet.  I know nothing of the growing independence and mood swings commonly attributed to the adolescent years (although I'm actually looking forward to having teenagers in the house!).
• Fourth, none of my spark plugs currently has any learning disabilities, mental health hindrances, or behavioral issues.  In other words, I don't have a lot of wide-range parenting tenure.

But.

What if this is the Lord prompting me to share what little I do know?  What if, in being willing to share my thoughts about Biblical parenting, I can help even one struggling mother?  What if my words can help stop even one parenting battle from taking place?  Wouldn't it be worth it?

Yes, it would.

And so, with that single thought in mind, I'm stepping out in faith to put together a small series on Biblical parenting in the hopes that it will encourage just one mama in her parenting efforts.  Maybe that mama is you.

For the next few weeks, I'll be sharing about what Biblical parenting is, why it's as important to Christian families today as it was when the Bible was written several thousand years ago, and how we can implement it in our households.

The what, how, and why of Biblical parenting

Before I wrap up this introductory post, though, there are a few things I'd like to share with you.  The first is about my kids being well-behaved.  This, on the days when it's actually true (we have bad days just like everyone else!), is due solely to God's grace.  I have no parenting wisdom apart from what the Bible teaches and the Holy Spirit gives.  I can't emphasize this point enough.

The second, on a lighter note, is that I won't be sharing any potty-training tips for now, no matter how many mamas ask me for advice on this topic!  That's an area utterly beyond my scope of knowledge.  I don't even know how my older three got trained.  I'm still struggling with training my youngest.  If any of you have suggestions, I'd welcome them!

With that off of my chest, let's study the what, how, and why of Biblical parenting together.

Your turn:  What are your biggest parenting struggles?  What aspect of motherhood makes you often think, "I wish there were a manual on this topic"?  Share in the comments or contact me.  I probably won't have the answer, but I'd love to pray along with you as you seek the Lord in this matter!  And if you're past the child-rearing years, what advice would you give those of us who are still in the trenches?

The what, how, and why of Biblical parenting

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3 Action Steps You Must Take During A Financial Crisis

3 action steps you must take during a financial crisis

Job loss.

Medical bills.

Unforeseen illness.

All of these things have a common thread that makes my heart jump into my throat:  the potential to create a financial crisis.

Money woes cause me to panic more quickly than anything else in life (with the possible exception of illness).  The combination of an empty bank account and an impending bill is enough to cause my heart to pound in anxiety.  I'm guessing I'm not alone when it comes to being terrified by money issues.

Jon and I have gone through layoffs, unemployment, and under-employment, all of which bring various levels of fear.  I wish I could tell you that I've handled each situation with grace and poise.  I wish I could say that I fully trusted in God's provision.  I wish I could claim to have learned to put my complete faith in the Lord as a result of these trials.

But I can't.

I am very human, and lack of money quickly reveals how fickle I am.  So, while I can't say, "here are 3 things I learned as a result of an empty checking account," I can offer three things I wish I had done when each of those trials came and what I hope I will remember to do when the next wave of financial turbulence hits.

Remember that God owns it all

One of the biggest mistakes I've made during financial crises is forgetting that the money was never mine to begin with.  How much better would it have been if I'd stopped to consider that it all belonged to God, that I was merely a steward of what He'd given me, and that He was free to move His funds around as He saw fit?

If you're facing a difficult financial situation, stop to consider that the Lord owns everything.  The only way to gracefully endure fiscal hardship is to view "your" money as it actually is:  God's.

View A Financial Crisis As An Opportunity to See God Work

Instead of freaking out about your financial crisis like I've done, try to calmly view each money crunch as an opportunity to see God work.  Everything God does is for our good and His glory (Romans 8:28, Isaiah 48:10).  I have a very hard time seeing (at first) how God could be glorified and how things are for my good.  I tend to see the crisis and not Christ. 

It might not be immediately obvious to us how He is being glorified or how we're benefiting from a situation, but since the Bible promises us these things, we can trust that they're happening.  If you can see a tough situation as a front-row seat to God's handiwork, it will be much easier to accept the cup that the Lord has given you.

Write Down Verses on God's Promise to Provide

God has graciously promised to provide for all our needs (see Philippians 4:19), but it's easy to get so caught up in the fear of the situation that we forget those promises.  Grab your Bible, a pen, and a sheet of paper and begin jotting down verses about the Lord's provision.  Don't forget Old Testament stories of God's protection and provision.  Notice how, over and over again, the Lord graciously cares for His people.

God doesn't promise to provide in the way we think or expect

A word of caution is in order here, however:  God definitely promises to provide, and He has proven His provision in Scripture over and over again.  But He doesn't promise to provide in the way we think or expect Him to, nor does He act according to our timetable.  He also doesn't say that we won't suffer while we're waiting for Him to act (otherwise, this blog would be obsolete!).  The Bible promises us that suffering will come (James 1).

Remembering that God owns it all, viewing a financial crisis as an opportunity to see God work, and writing down God's promises to provide won't make your current trial go away.  But doing these things will give you a better mindset for handling the situation in a way that brings honor to the Lord.  There often isn't much you can do during a financial crisis other than waiting, but these three things are action steps that you can do today, right now.

Let's praise Him while we wait!

Your turn:  Have you gone through financial hardships?  What has been the biggest help to you?  Share with us in the comments!

grace and truth linkup

3 action steps you must take during a financial crisis

When It Isn't Going to Be Okay

"Turbo has Type 1 Diabetes."

Those words, spoken to me three years ago today by an Urgent Care doctor, were some of the hardest I've ever had to swallow.

I didn't know anything about diabetes.  I didn't fully understand the impact of the doctor's words.  I was overwhelmed.

"He's going to be taken by ambulance to Children's Hospital.  But he's going to be okay."

Maybe you've received devastating news, too.  Maybe you got a phone call.  Perhaps you received a letter or email.

And maybe for you, it isn't going to be okay, at least not this side of Heaven.

A friend's little boy was diagnosed with a genetic disorder so rare it doesn't even have a name yet.  Another friend's infant has a suppressed immune system that will likely give out on him completely at some point.  Cancer recently took the lives of two friends, and others are still in the middle of their cancer battles.

Sometimes, things aren't going to be okay.

What then?  How does one cope when there is no reassuring doctor there to comfort you with the words, "It's going to be okay," like I had that day at Urgent Care three years ago?

That's the beauty of the Gospel.  No matter how difficult things are here on Earth, for the believer, there is the hope of Heaven.  Even if we lose all we hold dear here on Earth - our health, our loved ones, our homes, our own lives - Heaven will meet us and Eternity with Christ will wipe away all of our tears (see Isaiah 25:8).

One of my favorite books in the Bible is, oddly enough, Revelation.  Although it is full of end-time descriptions that don't always make sense yet, the overarching theme of God's ultimate mercy despite intense suffering is clear.  If it's been a while since you last read through it (or if you've never read it before), I would highly encourage you to do so.  Grab a pen, and as you read, write down all the references to God's salvation, mercy, grace, and final triumph over evil.  Then choose two or three of your very favorites to memorize and meditate on while you're in the middle of your struggle.

My favorite verse from Revelation is in chapter 12, verse 6.  It reads, "Then the woman fled into the wilderness, where she has a place prepared by God, that they should feed her there one thousand two hundred and sixty days" (emphasis added).  I've been through some very difficult circumstances, but in each of them, I definitely see that God perfectly prepared me for each of them by providing a place of provision.

The book of Revelation clearly states that times of hardship and anguish are coming.  But more importantly, it is a beautiful reminder that the Lord will triumph over evil; He will bind Satan forever; and we will spend all Eternity with Him free from sin, sadness, and death.

When you get news you never wanted to hear, when you receive a diagnosis you never anticipated, when it isn't going to be okay, put your trust in the Only One who is trustworthy.  Find hope in the fact that the Lord will prevail once and for all.  Rest in the peace of knowing that even though it's not okay now, someday, it will be.

What greater hope is there than spending Forever in the presence of our Heavenly Father?

3 Free Ways to Nurture Your Marriage Today

Today, I want to ask a deeply personal question:

How is your marriage?

I mean, how is it really?

Are you happy with it the way it is, or do you long for it to be better?

Even if you have a fabulous marriage, I hope you still want it to improve.  Why?  I firmly believe that even the best marriage in the world can be better.  None of us is perfect, and as long as marriages consist of two imperfect people, there will always be room to grow.

But, what if your marriage is in shambles?  What if you're certain that there's no hope?  Well, here comes the exciting part:  as long as there is life, there is hope.  Hope for a marriage rescue boat.

Jon and I have been blessed with a really, really good marriage.  Not a perfect one, but by God's grace alone, our marriage has been rock solid even though our life together has been anything but.  Because I've been given the gift of a good marriage, I want you to be able to have the blessing of a good marriage, too.

Today, I want to share three free ways to nurture your marriage today, no matter how good - or not - your relationship with your spouse currently is.

Pray for your husband.

You're not surprised that this is top on my list, are you?  I'd venture to say that most Christian wives do pray for their husbands.  But are you like me, where you fire off so-called "Nehemiah" prayers - a quick "please watch over and bless him, Lord" before rushing about your day?

When was the last time you took time to set aside distractions and got down on your knees in deep, exhaustive prayer for your husband?  In truth, I'm not sure I've ever done this.  Lately, though, I've been feeling the Holy Spirit's convicting me that I need to start praying more fervently for him.  In preparation for this post today, I decided to try praying specifically and deliberately for Jon for 5 minutes.  I fell asleep half way through.  (At least I'm in good company, since the disciples couldn't stay awake with Jesus in the Garden of Gethsemane, but that doesn't make me feel any better about my poor praying ability.)

Despite this disastrous start, I'm not going to give up in deepening my prayers for Jon's and my marriage.  Clearly, this is going to take a good bit of effort on my part, but it will be a worthwhile endeavor.  Marriages are under constant attack, and we can never pray enough for our spouses and our marriages.

Prioritize him over your kids.

When your husband walks through the door at the end of the day, who is the first to greet him - you or the kids?  I once heard on the radio a wife who was miffed at her husband for being more excited about seeing their daughter than about seeing her.  The radio host asked a simple question:  "Who is more excited to see him, you or your daughter?  If your daughter is dropping everything to run up to him with squeals and delight while you finish stirring dinner on the stove before giving him a peck on the cheek, can you blame him for appearing to enjoy her more?"

Children are certainly a blessing, but if we don't prioritize our husbands over our kids, marriages can accidentally take a back seat to parenting.  God designed marriage before he included children, though, so following His order for families is a must.

This is another area where I personally need to improve, though I am doing better than I used to.  My spark plugs were constantly bombarding Jon the moment he walked in.  I finally told the kids they had to wait to hug Dad until I'd had my turn!  Jon now gets home earlier while the kids are still napping, so I try to have his lunch ready and to ask him about his day before going back to whatever project I was involved in before he arrived.

Become a good listener.

Is there something that your husband has been mentioning, something that he'd like done, that you could do to make his day easier?  Perhaps the toys in the hallway impede his walk, or maybe he's been wishing for you to make that amazing dessert again.  Learning to listen for these little cues and then following through on them when we can could make a world of impact on our marriages.

Jon has mentioned several times that the two things that bother him most about the house are crumbs on the kitchen floor and toys in the walkways.  The kids and I have worked at making toy pickup a routine before nap time so that when Jon gets home, there aren't usually toys to trip over.  But I haven't quite made sweeping the kitchen floor as big of a priority as I should.  My goal this summer is to get that integrated into our routine so that it happens automatically.

Doing these small things for our husbands shows that we're listening, that what matters to them also matters to us, and that we are actively working on serving them.  The hard part comes when we start doing these things and they go unnoticed.

Fervently praying for your husband, prioritizing him over the kids (and pets, I might add), and listening to the things he mentions are all wonderful ways to improve your marriage.  They are all things that don't depend at all on his contributions, and they're things that any wife in any situation can do since they don't cost anything other than time.

But what if your husband doesn't notice all the hard work and effort you're putting into your marriage?  What if you start doing these things and more but it doesn't seem to make any difference?

Even wonderful husbands don't always notice everything we do for them.  It isn't necessarily that they're being rude, but it can be hurtful to try your best to serve and please him only for him not to notice.  The key is to remember Who it is you're actually serving.  If you're trying to implement these ideas and suggestions in order to serve your husband, it's likely that, at some point, he won't notice and you'll be hurt.  But if you do them because doing so is serving the Lord, then it won't matter as much if/when your husband isn't fully aware of all the small things you're doing to help make his day run more smoothly.

Marriage is teamwork.  By doing what you can to improve your marriage and keeping your heart tender toward the Lord's leading, you can do much to improve your contributions to your marriage.  If your marriage is good, your actions may inspire your husband to reciprocate in kind.  If your marriage is in a rough spot, doing these things means you're doing what you can to ease the situation.

You can always nurture your marriage in one way or another, starting right now.  Let's strive together to improve our relationships with our husbands, whether those relationships are already fabulous or we're hoping that they will be some day.

May I challenge you?  Will you join me this week in 1) praying at length for your husband, 2) giving him priority, and 3) working at becoming a better listener?  If so, leave a comment letting me know that you're joining me this week in improving in these three areas!

New! Free Ebook: Hope for the Hallway

Do you have a bucket list? I didn't think I did, but last night I realized I do.  A few items on my "to-do" list include:

• Writing a book (and becoming a published author)
• Writing a companion guide for my spark plugs' math curriculum (the Life of Fred series is great but seems to be missing a few things)
• Running a half marathon (a full marathon just seems like too much of a time commitment right now)
• Traveling outside the United States (my top places to visit include Port Isaac and Ireland)

Well, I'm SUPER excited today, because last night, I finished writing my very first ebook:  Hope for the Hallway!  At just 16 pages (including the title page and table of contents), it's nothing earth-shattering, but I was over the moon at its completion.  And, as a big thank-you to everyone who reads my blog, I'd love to give you a copy of my new book!

Simply sign up using either the "subscribe" bar at the top, the side bar "subscribe" option, or the super-annoying popup that appears shortly after you open my blog page (I've set the parameters so that it'll only show up once a month, so if you've already clicked it closed, just use one of the other options).  Once you've subscribed, I'll automatically send you a welcome email with a pretty pink button at the bottom where you can download Hope for the Hallway.

How cool is that?  (Sorry, I'm still very new to all of this blogging technology, and the fact that I can upload a digital book to my blog, and then attach that book to an email so that my readers can download it, is pretty amazing to me.)

Thank you for being a loyal reader!

Your turn:  If you have a bucket list, what are some of the items on it?  What have you already accomplished?  If you don't have a bucket list, have you ever considered creating one?  Why or why not?

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When It's Obvious that God's At Work

I love John chapter 21.  The scene opens in the early morning light.  The crucifixion and resurrection have taken place, and the disciples have been out fishing all night without any catch to show for their efforts.  Jesus, standing on the bank, calls out to them and tells them to cast their nets over the side of the boat.

Now, if this had been me, I probably would have grumbled about having to try again after a fruitless fishing expedition.  I might have stubbornly refused to do it at all.  Thankfully, the disciples obeyed, even though they hadn't even realized that it was Jesus Who was asking them to do it (verse 4).

Their incredible yield from obeying the Lord resulted in 153 fish (verse 11).

Wow.

That's the power of God at work.

In verse 12, we learn that they didn't ask Jesus Who He was, because they knew it was the Lord.  They didn't recognize Him at first - whether due to the poor light or because they were too far out on the water or because their hearts were hardened, I'm not sure - but they knew exactly Who He was after He performed that miracle.

Sometimes, things occur in life that are so inexplicable in human or scientific terms that we know instantly that only God could have performed them. There is no doubt that He is the One orchestrating these events, and they leave us in greater awe of His majesty than ever before.

For me, the days and weeks following Jon's surgery come to mind. I thought I knew exactly how the Lord would choose to meet our needs while Jon took time off of work to recuperate. He had accrued a week's worth of paid vacation (so we thought), and the previous month had had an extra pay day. While the extra pay check from the earlier month was an enormous blessing, the paid vacation fell through.

Instead, the Lord graciously met our needs above and beyond what we could have imagined. My mom came to stay with us while Jon was in the hospital, and she brought with her ingredients for over a week's worth of meals. Other family and friends gave us gift cards (most at great personal sacrifice), brought meals, provided childcare, and helped out financially. I was amazed and humbled at the ways the Lord used so many people to bless and comfort us!

I also know there are times when it should be obvious that the Lord is behind something, but so often I fail to recognize His hand. Sometimes I'll later realize that He's been at work, but a lot of the time, I'm completely oblivious and never thank Him for His provision. For times like those, I can only ask forgiveness and pray that I'll become more sensitive to seeing the obvious.

Your turn:  Has there been a time in your life when you've clearly seen the Lord at work?  I'd love to hear your story.  Share in the comments!

When You Feel Stuck on Hold

Last week, I spent an hour and 22 minutes on the phone trying to sort out a large medical bill only to learn that there was no way we could lower it any further.  I often encounter situations like this; when you have several chronically-ill family members, there’s simply no avoiding days that are spent on the phone, usually on hold.

It’s frustrating.

Although I try to put my phone on speaker and fold some laundry while I wait, there simply aren’t that many things that I can do while passing the time.  Vacuuming is too loud – I can’t hear the phone to know when someone on the other end picks up.  The same thing is true of washing dishes.  I can’t even read to the spark plugs over the static-y din of the obnoxious hold music.  (Props to GoDaddy for now offering the option to wait in silence.)  Folding laundry and cleaning out my purse are the only two chores I’ve been able to accomplish well while on the phone.

When all is said and done, on these days that are spent waiting for someone to answer on the other end, I feel as though my precious hours have been wasted.  Even though these phone calls must be dealt with just as much as cleaning and teaching, there is no tangible evidence that I’ve accomplished anything at all.  Little minds have not grown wiser; the house has not become cleaner; and I often don’t even come away with a reduced bill to show for my efforts.

I’m tempted to wonder why I even bother at all.

There are definite reasons that I persist at the awful telephone game.  First of all, some calls are absolute requirements, like scheduling appointments and ordering medical supplies.  Secondly, I do get bills reduced often enough that it warrants the time spent to try.

It’s in those rare bill-slashing moments that I realize that the effort has been worth it after all.  The waiting isn’t fun; the time spent is agonizing; but the reduced payments are a huge blessing.

Last week, I suddenly saw yet another parallel between my physical and spiritual life.

Sometimes the Lord asks us to do hard things, things that seem – on the surface – to eat up all of our precious minutes without showing much of a return in the end.  Perhaps you’ve spent years praying for an unsaved spouse or child.  Maybe you’ve had to walk a completely different road than you thought you’d wanted in life.  Or possibly the Lord has called you to do something day in and day out that doesn’t appear to be bearing any fruit.

The thing is, we never know when that hoped-for result will come.  We may not even see the result of our efforts in our lifetime.  But if we’re consistent in doing what He’s called us to do, it doesn’t matter.  We are called to be faithful, not to achieve results.  Sometimes, He may see fit to let us see a tangible difference from our efforts, like when an insurance agency agrees to cover more of the total cost or when a hospital agrees to charge us less.  Other times, He might let another build on the foundation we’ve laid, like with someone to whom we’ve been witnessing for years doesn’t come to Christ until another person presents the Gospel to him again.

My point is this:  nothing we do for the sake of the Gospel is in vain.  We won’t know until Heaven just how much of an impact we will have had on the world, and that’s perfectly okay.  We simply need to keep on making those spiritual “phone calls,” even the ones that disrupt our day and offer no physical evidence of accomplishment.  It is up to the Lord to bring about the fruit in His perfect timing.

Your turn: Are you faithfully doing the tasks that the Lord has given you, especially the ones that aren’t yet bearing fruit?  How do you keep going even when it appears that it’s all for naught?

4 Ways Failure Can Become Your Key to Success

Devastated, I stared at my quiz score.  Never before had I ever failed an exam of any kind (with the exception of my driver’s test, but that’s a story for another day).  It’s okay, I told myself.  It’s my first week here at college.  I’ll do better next time.  But the following week’s quiz resulted in an even worse grade.

What I hadn’t understood until that second failed quiz was that the reading assignment for each week’s lecture was due before the lecture, not after.  This was completely backward from high school, where my mom taught us the lessons and then had us follow up with the reading assignments.  I learned the hard way that at college – or, at least at the college I attended – the reverse was true.

It was really humbling to fail the first two quizzes of my college career…and in English class, of all places.  I never thought of myself as an exceptional student, but English grammar was one area where I usually did well.  I worried that if I couldn’t even pass English, I would certainly fail in all my other classes.

Of course, once I figured out what I was doing wrong and corrected it, things went much more smoothly, and I ended up graduating a semester early with a respectable GPA.

From this experience, I learned four things about failure that have helped me better appreciate its place in my life.

Failure of some kind is inevitable.

I don’t know anyone who enjoys failure, but everyone has failed at something at one time or another.  It’s a natural part of life, and, if we let it, failure can become a fantastic teacher.  Although I didn’t know it back in college, those first two failed quizzes taught me persevering despite failing.

Failure can be either our foe or our friend.

We have to decide if we’re going to run from failure or learn from it.  In college, since I was stranded 3,000 miles away from home with no transportation, running from my failure wasn’t an option.  So, I figured out the problem, corrected it, and learned from it.

Failure can push us to do greater things.

When I failed those college quizzes, it motivated me to study more diligently and to make sure I’d done my homework in the appropriate order so that I had already covered the material I would be tested on.  If I’d found college work to be easy, I might not have studied as hard or learned as much as I did.

Failure can help us make better choices.

Because I started off that English class with poor quiz scores, it forced me to be diligent to study well so that my overall class grade wouldn't suffer.  I chose to study over spending time in leisure activities.  In the end, that rough start probably caused me to do better in that class than I would have done simply because I was motivate to develop good study habits from there on out.

I don’t know that any of us will ever love failing at things.  But since we know it will happen – probably many times! – at some point in life, we can keep a good perspective and use it to our advantage and thus causing failure to become the key that brings us success in other areas.  If we choose to accept it, learn from it, be motivated by it, and be bettered as a result of it, we can transform something bad into a blessing.

It’s yet another way that the Lord can bring forth beauty from ashes.

Your turn:  Have you experienced failure?  If so, in what form?  What did you learn from it?  How did it change you for the better?  Share in the comments section below!  I’d love to hear your story.

Spiritual Spaghetti

I miss pasta.  It’s one of my all-time favorite foods, but we don’t eat it at home much anymore.  Turbo’s Celiac Disease prohibits him from wheat pasta, and although tasty gluten-free noodle options now exist, they tend to be a blood sugar nightmare.  It’s simply easier to eat some chicken and steamed veggies instead of trying to make pasta dishes work for our family.

Last night, however, we had spaghetti for dinner.  I’d really been missing my beloved pasta, and when I found Angel Hair on sale last week, I bought some both to indulge my craving and to supplement our food budget with a cheap meal.  Paired with Classico-brand sauce (gluten free and no sugar added, all for a decent price – score on multiple accounts!) and a side of cauliflower, all I had to do to make it suitable for Turbo was to steam a spaghetti squash for some Celiac/Diabetes-friendly “noodles.”

It was a huge hit.  From the beaver-cheeked smiles and multiple compliments from the spark plugs, I realized that I wasn’t the only one who had been missing an Italian-inspired meal.

As easy as spaghetti is supposed to be, though, ours wasn’t.

It may seem like an easy thing to keep separate utensils and dishes to prevent gluten contamination, but I find it difficult.  Multiple times I caught myself about to stir the squash noodles with the wheat noodle spoon.  I had to dig out my spare pair of tongs for dishing out the various meals.  Even cleanup was no simple matter; what if I scrubbed out the pasta pot first and then washed the other pans?  Would the scrubber cross-contaminate the other items?  I’ve really no idea.

As tasty and refreshingly different as the spaghetti was, I have to wonder whether or not it’s truly the best meal for us.  While there’s nothing wrong with serving it, we have to be extremely cautious, and that detracts from the ease of preparation.  And what if I’d actually contaminated something?  We would’ve had to start the cooking process over, I suppose.

I began to wonder how many things we do in life that are not truly harmful but could easily lead down a path we shouldn’t go down – things that, at first, appear to be a fun idea but which take us dangerously close to becoming involved in something we as believers should have no part of.  I’m sure there are many.

Our spaghetti experience likely won’t keep me from preparing it on occasion, but I will take extra precautions before serving it again.  Truthfully, I really should simply serve all of us the squash noodles and thus avoid the possibility of contamination all together.  If only there were such a simple fix in our spiritual lives so that we could enjoy the “pasta” without threat of falling into temptation!

Your turn:  Have you ever found yourself in a spiritually-dangerous situation?  How did you handle it?  What would you do differently in the future to prevent the same thing from happening again?

A Damaged Diamond and A Perfect Promise

Last week, I smashed my diamond wedding ring in the folds of Baby D’s heavy stroller.  Expecting the worst, I checked for damage, and sure enough, I’d bent one of the prongs on my large diamond. (Although difficult to see in the above photo, the lower left prong is out of place and isn’t even touching the diamond.  You can click on the picture to see a close-up view.)  This is actually the third time that I’ve wrecked my ring, and I was frustrated that I’d been careless with it once again.  The incident reminded me of a post I wrote years ago on an old blog, so I decided to repost it here.

I’m not a showy person, so I never really anticipated owning an extravagant ring. A simple, small diamond on a plain gold band was all I ever hoped to have. Imagine my surprise when, after proposing, Jon presented me with a brilliant-cut half-carat diamond set in an ornately-designed band! It was absolutely stunning, and I felt beyond treasured that he would give me such a lovely gift.

I never take my ring off, and one day I inevitably whacked it against the wall when running after one of the boys. In doing so, I visibly bent one of the setting’s prongs. I took it in to be repaired, and the jeweler told me that not only was the prong bent, but I had actually chipped my very precious diamond. There really wasn’t much to be done for the diamond, but once the prong was repaired, it completely covered the diamond’s damage and the ring now appears as perfect as it was when I first received it.

After relaying this story to friend, she asked, “Why didn’t you have the ring insured? You could have had the diamond replaced.” Even if we’d insured the ring and had the option of replacing the damaged diamond, I don’t think I would have chosen to do that. While the ring is beautiful, it’s the promise behind it that gives it value. Jon gave me the ring with this promise: “I will be committed to you for as long as we both shall live. Nothing will cause me to break that promise.” This ring, its imperfections and all, symbolizes that promise for me. I don’t really care that its original monetary worth has been significantly reduced; the promise behind it has not.

In a way, my ring also reminds me of the promise of salvation. I am a broken diamond, chipped beyond repair. But God in His mercy covered me with the blood of the Lamb, just as the new prong covers the chip in my ring’s diamond. He no longer sees the broken me, but instead, He sees the righteousness of His Son covering my brokenness. My imperfections will never cause Him to remove my salvation, just as my broken ring does not annul Jon’s commitment to me.

A new diamond might have greater monetary value, but my imperfect one is much more dear than any replacement could be.

All fixed – for the third time.  And I’m guessing this won’t be the last, either.

When My Prayer Life Resembles A 2-Year-Old's Antics

“Mommy, NEED milk!”

“Mommy, NEED cashews!”

“Mommy, NEED down!”

No matter how promptly I try to attend to Baby D’s needs at the dining table, he’s always a step ahead of me, telling me what he thinks he needs and how to do things.  As amusing as it is at first – aren’t all two-year-olds absolutely adorable even if they’re being bratty? – it quickly becomes obnoxious.  I want to throw my hands in the air, exasperated, and ask him, “After more than 11 years of parenting, don’t you trust me to take care of you?”

And in those moments, I suddenly hear myself in Baby D’s exclamations.

“Lord, I NEED the kids to be healthy!”

“Lord, we NEED Turbo’s blood sugar to come back down!”

“Lord, I NEED wisdom!”

On and on goes my list.

I can only imagine that He, after having existed from Eternity Past and having spoken the world into being from nothing, feels like saying to me, “Don’t you realize that I’ve cared for you since before you were born?  Didn’t I redeem you with the blood of My own Son?  Don’t you know that I know your needs – and how I plan to provide for them – before you’re ever aware of them?”

I’ve been feeling extra “needy” lately, and my prayer life reflects it with all of my requests for one thing or another.  I don’t feel bad about asking for anything of the Lord.  After all, we’re commanded to come boldly before the Throne for mercy and grace in our time of need (see Hebrews 4:16), and my requests are legitimate.  I ask for wisdom, for health, for the salvation of a friend or family member, for peace for someone who’s struggling, etc.  But I’ve also been convicted to take time to worship the Lord in prayer, to acknowledge His goodness, strength, mercy, and love before simply diving in with my to-do list of necessities.

Many days after enduring D’s demands, he’ll run up to me out of the blue, give me a kiss, and just as quickly return to playing again.  I love those moments.  I would guess that my Heavenly Father loves to be honored in a similar way.  While He doesn’t need the pitiful bit of praise I can offer Him, He does take delight in it just the way I delight in D’s unsolicited affection.

So, as often as I can remember, I try to praise and thank Him before diving into my list of requests (praying through some of the Psalms is a great way to do this).  And I also try to thank Him afterward for answering my prayers, whether or not He’s chosen to answer them in the way that I’d hoped.

Truthfully, remembering these other elements when praying doesn’t come naturally to me.  I like to pray Nehemiah prayers (quick prayers right on the spot) and move on to the next item on my agenda for the day.  Worshiping the Lord by savoring my time spent in prayer with Him is outside of my comfort zone, but the more I do so, the more I’m learning to deepen my prayer life.  It’s not perfect, but I am growing.  And that’s exciting to me.

There will always be times when Nehemiah prayers are perfectly acceptable, but I am welcoming this new challenge to truly spend time in prayer with the Savior as much as I am able.  I still need wisdom; still need better blood sugar control; and still need health for my family, but my new approach to prayer is deepening my faith and growing my trust in a perfectly-trust-able God.  Although I am doing it because I feel that it is honoring to Him, I am gaining equal benefit on my part, too.

Your turn:  Do you spend time praising the Lord when you pray?  What has helped you to enrich your prayer life?

Parenting In Light of Eternity

Parenting in light of eternity

“How 936 Pennies Will Forever Change the Way You Parent,” a thought-provoking blog post, floated around the Christian parenting sphere for a time.  I found it well worth the time I spent reading it.  The author made a great point:  we have approximately 936 weeks to spend with our babies before they turn 18.  Are we spending those pennies (weeks) wisely?

Something struck me as I read through the article, though, something I wish the writer had pointed out.

We aren’t promised 936 weeks.  We aren’t even promised tomorrow.

I know countless parents who have lost children long before the offspring’s 18th birthdays.  If putting 18 years into perspective by viewing them as a penny a week is intended to inspire us to better parenting, should we not also consider the fact that only the Lord knows the number of each one’s days?

Every day with our little ones is precious.  We’re not promised that we’ll have 18 years – or even 18 days – to parent them.  How would keeping this perspective change our parenting habits?

While I don’t want to waste time worrying about what the future holds, Scripture reminds us to number our days so that we may apply our hearts to wisdom (Ps. 90:12).  Next to marriage, I know of no other situation in life that requires wisdom more than child rearing!

If I knew that I only had, say, 12 years – or 624 pennies – to parent one of my spark plugs, what would I be doing differently than I currently am?  Would I change my approach?  My actions?  My responses?

I know that, for starters, I would want to spend more time with a child whose days were numbered.  I would want to be more patient, to be more creative, to do more reading aloud.  I would want to get down on the ground and push toy cars along a track.  I would want to spend time teaching him the truths of God’s Word, reminding him to place his confidence in the only One Who cared enough for him to die on a cross in his place.  I would want to take a million photos a day, trying to capture as many memories as possible.

If those are the things I would do if I knew that our time together was coming to a close, why am I not incorporating these things right now?  The fact is that I don’t know that my time is not limited.  I don’t know my own lifespan.  I don’t know those of my children, either.

While I am not at all worried about losing a child and am content to trust the future to the One who knows what lies ahead, I do think it a good thing to take time now and then to re-evaluate how I’m raising these spark plugs to see if I need to change my approach.

In some areas, I truly believe that Jon and I are doing well.  We daily spend time in God’s Word with the kids.  We pray for them every night, specifically that they will each grow up to love and serve the Lord.  I’m improving on spending individual time with each child and am attempting to quicken my response when one of them needs me.

There are many other areas where I have great room for improvement, and I know that as I work toward strengthening my weaknesses, I will invariably lose traction on my current strengths.  The pendulum of life simply swings back and forth, and I will never be able to do all things well this side of Heaven.  I’m perfectly okay with that.  I may not be able to impeccably execute my responsibility as a parent, but I know that the Holy Spirit is working in both me and my spark plugs and is filling out each of our weaknesses.  It is a beautiful testimony to His perfection.

I don’t know how many pennies each spark plug has left.  I’m thankful for the ones we’ve already spent together and pray that we have many more ahead.  I’ll keep praying for wisdom to raise them, reading and memorizing Scripture with them, and snapping pictures as often as I remember to take out the camera.

I don’t need to know the future.  I only need to be faithful for the days that I’m given with them, whether that’s 936 weeks or 936 seconds.

Your turn:  How has thinking about Eternity affected your parenting?  In what areas are you excelling?  In what areas are you hoping to improve?

Parenting in light of eternity

Windows: Glimpsing the Eternal

We often go walking as a family at night, and it’s one of my favorite evening activities.  Not only do I get to visit in depth with Jon and chat with the spark plugs, but I also get to glimpse through the front windows of some of the homes we pass.  For a brief moment, I witness an ornately decorated living room; a large wedding photo prominently displayed under a spotlight; the sparseness of a minimalist ideology.  I’ve long loved home layouts, floor plans, and interior design, so I find it fascinating to see how others keep their living quarters.

Much like those front windows give me a small look inside someone else’s lifestyle, the Biblical passages on Heaven give me a sneak peek of what Eternity will some day be like.  It sounds beautiful from the descriptions:  gates of pearl; foundation layers of gemstone; purest gold so refined that it appears like glass.

Sometimes, though, I don’t like thinking about Heaven because it seems so far away, so unlike this tangible reality here on Earth.  Earth is comfortable, knowable, seeable, and believable, or at least I’ve convinced myself that it is.  Although I enjoy looking through windows, I love coming home to my own house much more.  It’s where I belong.  Daydreaming about someone else’s decorating scheme is fun for a moment, but I forget about it the moment I cross the threshold of my own front door.

After weeks or months of the comforts of Earth, however, something inevitably happens to remind me to return to Heaven’s Windows.  A long night in the Emergency Room with Turbo is plenty to bring me back to the realization that what I call home here on Earth is merely a temporary stop-gap measure until I get to spend Eternity with the Savior.  In Heaven, there won’t be the stress of sickness, financial concerns, or sadness.  There will only be the wonderfulness of being in the presence of the Almighty.

Until the day that I enter Heaven’s rest, I need to keep visiting the Windows in the Word.  They draw me out of the mundane and pull my heart toward what is very much better:  to be with Christ for all of Eternity.

Your turn:  Are you waiting for Heaven?  What are you looking forward to most?  I’d love to hear!

Finding Beauty in the Fall

Fall is my favorite time of year.  I love everything about it:  the crisp morning air; the fresh start of the school year; the promise of the holidays just around the corner; and, yes, even Starbucks’ over-priced Pumpkin Spice Lattes (though I’d like to try this healthier, do-it-yourself version).  My dad once commented that October would be the perfect time for a wedding since the outdoor colors are dramatic, the weather isn’t too hot (the air conditioning died at my parents’ June wedding – in California’s Central Valley – so temperature is something he and Mom always think about now), and no major holidays are there to impede date setting.

While Jon and I didn’t get married in Autumn, I still think of it as the perfect season with its cool temperature and beautiful colors.

Part of me wonders, though, if the beauty that I see in Fall is actually a result of The Fall.

After all, isn’t the brilliant display of gold, amber, and crimson really the death of the leaf?  And if death did not enter the world until Adam sinned, it begs the question of whether or not we would have had the beautiful Autumnal colors that many of us eagerly wait for every year if The Fall had not occurred.

There is no human way to discern this, but it is something that I often think about.  It’s very possible that leaves would have changed color for a season and simply returned to their green peak of vibrancy without falling from the tree.  Yet, scholars theorize that seasons likely did not change until after the Flood, meaning that there would not have been cooler seasons to induce the amazing color-changing phenomenon that preempts Winter.

I think it’s quite possible that Fall is one of many ways in which the Creator has made something lovely from what was otherwise broken and ruined.  Perhaps He brought beauty from ashes once again by providing yet another instance of His creative genius despite the ruin that sin brought upon the world.  We still have death, and leaves still die and fall from their branches, but God allowed them to do so in a breathtaking way that only He could have thought up.

However Fall came to be – whether originally designed from the beginning of creation or added later after the tarnish of sin had left its mark – it will always be my favorite season.

Your turn:  Which season is your favorite and why?  Have you ever thought about what it might have been like before the Fall of Man?  Let me know in the comments.