Note: Today’s post is part of the Write 31 Days challenge. You can find the introduction and links to the posts in this series right here.

“But I thought we were focusing on our husbands!” you may be thinking after reading today’s post title. Rest assured, we’re not focusing on ourselves in a selfish way!

Today’s assignment is to take a good, hard look at our own shortcomings instead of focusing on those of our husbands. This is not an easy task. It’s never fun to address the sin issues in our own lives when we could distract ourselves by trying to fix other people’s problems.

How often do you take time to inwardly reflect on yourself, taking stock of the areas where you yourself need to change or grow?

Matthew 7:1-5 appropriately reads:

“Judge not, that you be not judged. For with what judgment you judge, you will be judged; and with the measure you use, it will be measured back to you. And why do you look at the speck in your brother’s eye, but do not consider the plank in your own eye? Or how can you say to your brother, ‘Let me remove the speck from your eye’; and look, a plank is in your own eye? Hypocrite! First remove the plank from your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother’s eye” (NKJV, emphasis added).

I don’t know about you, but I find it MUCH easier to fixate on my husband’s speck while ignoring my own plank. And that’s to my shame. So, as part of my effort to serve him and bless him, I need to take a solid look at myself, my sins, and my behavior. I invite you to do the same. Here are a few questions we each should ask ourselves:

In what areas am I doing well?
In what areas am I struggling?
Are there areas where my husband has mentioned he’d like me to change/improve/do better in?
Are there areas where the Holy Spirit is convicting me?
Is there anything another older, more mature Christian has suggested I work on?
Do I have strengths that I could hone even further?

Although the title, “Focus On Yourself,” could sound self-serving, trust me that focusing on and improving on your besetting sins and shortcomings is an excellent way to wash your husband’s feet.

However, I would caution you to keep a few things in mind.

First, this isn’t a task we can accomplish in a single day. We can begin right now to work on it, but we will need time - LOTS of time - to truly grow and mature in areas where we’re currently weak. Don’t get frustrated or upset if improvement doesn’t show up overnight.

Second, we cannot improve ourselves without the enabling of the Holy Spirit. We must lean into His leading, prompting, and help in order to change and root out sin in our hearts. And we can only walk in His help through Bible study and prayer.

Third, don’t get discouraged if your husband doesn’t notice the changes you’re striving to make in your life. And don’t get angry if he doesn’t feel convicted to make changes in his own life yet. Remember, this is a no-strings-attached challenge. We’re doing this unto the Lord and not in a thinly-veiled effort to change our husbands!

Today’s assignment is probably one of the hardest in this series. But let’s roll up our sleeves and start the hard work of rooting out sin as we seek to continue serving our spouses.

Have you clicked through for your Marriage Assessment yet?